What's Your Self-Value?

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on May 8, 2007.

How high do you see yourself as?

Are you a valuable asset towards the others?

Are they lucky to have you? Or are you lucky to have them?

These are the questions in which I never got an exact answer up until now...

Whenever we value ourselves as being high and good, we'd serve the others with the best things possible. Because we're very good people who treats everyone right, giving the 'best service' all the time, sometimes we tend to expect the best treatments coming from the others towards us too. Whenever their treatment doesn't match ours, we'd become frustrated and the it seems illogical when you think of why should these other people do such things to you. Thus, the issue of "since-I-did-it-for-you, why-can't-you-do-the-same-thing-for-me-too?" arises... or, another version could also be called "since-i-didn't-do-it-to-you, why-should-you-do-it-to-me?"

But if we value ourselves as being too low, we tend to do things without our willingness. Since we're at a lower level than the other person, then they deserve everything from us. Being at the lower level also makes it impossible for us to expect anything fair from the other party. We'd end up being mistreated and abused. Being low means lack of confidence as well...

Which one should we go for? A higher self-value but always end up unsatisfied with treatments coming from others, or a lower self-value and end up being mistreated?

Perhaps, a higher self-value is a better option, but when we think that we're too good for others, we also tend to think that we never make any mistakes.. We'd never think or expect that we would do any mistake since we've done our best to satisfy everyone around us.. Things become bad when we don't see our own mistakes and blame others every single time.. "We're good people and we're on the right side, so why should we be wrong?".. Yes, but think again, bad things won't happen when only one side is guilty.. Most of the time, more than one side is guilty.. Just be ready to admit your own faults..

I have been very childish and I did so many mistakes to think that I'm always on the right side since I always expect the best out of myself to keep treating others good and right every single time.. I ended up thinking that I'll do no wrong since I've always been "the good guy who'll try his best" all the time.. When things go wrong, I kept hanging on to my favorite line of "I already did my best, what else can I do now?".. Sometimes that line seems valid to me but I know that there should always be another side of the truth..

Even now, when some conflicts occur or bad things happen, I still think that it's confusing in terms of which side should I stand on - Defend myself and everything that I've done to make things right, or just claim responsibility every single time without saying anything else?