Stop Blaming the Distance

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Jan 10, 2007.

With so many relationships failing since the previous 5 months, including mine and those of my best friends', I thought I'd like to give some insight about how I look at the whole situation.

They say it's the distance.

But I hardly think so.

Long distance relationship is not the cause. Trust me. I just read some self-help books and the best bet would actually be this - relationships fail because of us. Yes, it's us. Not the distance.

It is true the physical limit makes us hard to see our significant other as often as we could compared to when we're close. But do all physically-close relationships survive, and do all long distance relationships fail? Certainly not. I personally know a universitymate of mine who's having a relationship with his lovely girlfriend since they were in high school, and I'm guessing that would be around 7 years old now. Although they are now half-the-globe apart, it just doesn't matter. I know some others who are also making it through - treating it like an adventure.

Don't believe it? Well, you simply have to.

If we have no choice but to have a long distance relationship and we don't wanna lose it, then embrace it as part of our life. Accept the reality, and find ways that work best. Stop expecting too much, and be happy in whatever situation that you're in. Tolerate. Have some control over your raging emotions. Take note that this applies to both guys and girls.

It's time for us to grow up and take full responsibility for whatever that happens in our lives.

When bad things occur, chances are it's the others' fault, and not us. It's the distance, or it's the other person not understanding us. Blame everything and everyone but ourselves.

Acting like we're the victim simply won't help. No matter how much satisfaction we get out of blaming things around us, it'll never help us get better.

Start taking responsibility and learn lessons from mistakes so that we'll grow and become better individuals with more fulfillments. Making it others' fault gets us nowhere and our growth stays stagnant.

To skeptics out there, just go out and find good books such as Susan Jeffers' "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway". Read it and you'll get what I'm trying to say.