Respect Yourself First

I work part-time on campus. I'm one of the three lab assistants helping Al, the lab coordinator for the Petroleum Engineering Department here at school.

One of the most interesting part in doing this part-time job with Al is that he'll at times give us advices one might usually regard as "wisdom". And sure, I personally think Al is a wise man.

This morning, first thing after Chrissy (one of the three lab assistants) and I reported ourselves to work, we updated him about some work stuff. Later we deviated into other topics and one of them was concerning women and respect.

Al talked quite a lot on it. He said some men are just not respecting women, thinking that men are superior to women, etc. etc. He obviously was against that, and I couldn't agree more with him. We believe women should be equally respected in any circumstances.

"But...", Al continued, "...women should know how to respect themselves first before they want or demand men to respect them"

He later suggested that if physical beauty is the only thing that a woman put forward to let themselves be regarded as, while neglecting the fact that she also has other non-physical qualities and achievements, then most likely this woman will be treated as such. Most likely men will treat them like objects - beautiful objects, of course, but nothing more than that. And when this happens, it's the woman's fault and she doesn't have much room to ask for men to give them the respect they actually deserve.

And I thought...

In other words, women should not only "sell" their physical attractiveness, because if they do, that'll be the only thing men will appreciate about them. If women also "sell" their other humanly self-qualities, they'll be much more appreciated as an equally respected human being.

But you know, men are not noble, either. Some men, even with women who respect themselves in the first place, will still think that women are mere objects who are inferior to them. In this case, then it's the man's fault for not respecting the woman. And if you meet one of these men, you'll immediately see the word "J.E.R.K" hugely printed right up on their forehead.

And I believe the whole respecting-yourself-first idea should also go to men. Notice how some men let beautiful women manipulate themselves and treating them unfairly but will still like the woman and humbly say sorry every single time he has the chance to. And notice every time the man stands up for himself, then woman will later give him more of the respect that man deserves. Dating expert, David Deangelo, for example, describes this as something like "Not letting women treat you with second-class behavior".

And I guess this "law" is quite universal that it is actually true in a lot of other circumstances. It's logical, and it makes a lot of sense, too. See - if we do not respect ourselves, how can we ever expect other people to give it to us in return, right?