According To Izzat

Ketenangan Jiwa

2011-12-15T03:05:00.001-07:00

Semua orang di bumi ini mencari ketenangan jiwa. Macam-macam cara yang kita buat dan kita cuba untuk cari.... ketenangan jiwa.

Ada yang kumpul duit banyak-banyak. Ada yang daki gunung tinggi-tinggi. Ada yang hisap rokok sampai tak mampu lagi untuk berhenti. Ada yang pergi bercuti jauh-jauh sampai ke luar negara menghabiskan duit beribu-ribu. Ada yang makan banyak-banyak. Ada yang shopping banyak-banyak. Ada yang keluar dengan kawan-kawan untuk 'have fun'. Dan ada juga yang mencari ketenangan hati di saat ada masalah hidup sampai terjerumus ke lembah maksiat - na'uzubillahi min zaalik.

Kawan-kawan, sekiranya kita benar-benar tahu, semua itu sebenarnya adalah cara-cara yang teramat 'mahal' untuk mendapatkan ketenangan jiwa. Sesungguhnya hanya ada SATU SAHAJA cara yang paling berkesan untuk dapatkan ketenangan jiwa, iaitu - - - - - Zikrullah.. Ingat akan Allah.

Dalam Surah Al-Ra'd: 28; Allah berfirman:

"... Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah hati akan menjadi tenang".

Sesungguhnya ini adalah kata-kata dari Allah yang Maha Agung, Maha Mengetahui - Pencipta sekalian makhluk dan alam. Maka, adakah kita masih mahu mencari cara yang lain untuk mencari ketenangan jiwa?

Renung-renungkan lah...

Trials & Tribulations

2009-12-07T05:46:00.003-07:00

Life is always full of trials & tribulations. Even in good times we're actually being tested. There's no doubt that we'll be tested again and again. And at times when the test seems so harsh, we'll wonder, "Why me?"

But you know, someone dear to me once said:

"..one should know that whatever test that Allah has laid down for us, He knows that the test will ALWAYS be of a size that we can cope/deal with.."

For those who are currently being tested, hang in there. In time, you will be fine. Remember - time heals.

And right now I'm wondering - If this is the case, then probably that's why suicide is not accepted in Islam. And that's why if we fail the (some of the) test(s), then punishment awaits in the hereafter.

The Blizzard Savior

2009-03-28T11:50:00.002-06:00

The Blizzard Savior, originally uploaded by izzatnizam.

I can't remember how long it has been since I wrote my last blog, but sure it is quite some time ago.

So, this is going to be my next entry, and this time I'm writing in Bahasa Malaysia (campur sikit-sikit la english).

Photo Description / Penerangan Foto:

Ok. Sebelum teruskan baca sila tenung gambar di atas lama-lama ye.

Dua hari lepas bila bangun pagi je tiba-tiba aku tengok kat luar tingkap bilik aku rupanya tengah snow. Lebat pulak tu. Aku memang dah lama tak tengok weather forecast kat weather.com. TV pun dah lama tak tengok. Haih, hidup aku ni asyik busy je dengan homework la, kerja la. Makin tua ni memang dah takde masa nak tengok TV. So, basically memang tak jangka la nak snow lebat macam ni.

Aku pun pergi je la klas kan, macam biasa. On the way tu, aku tengok kereta-kereta kat parking lot tu semua dah habis kena tutup dengan snow. Haha, aku fikir dalam hati kesian la tuan punya kereta kena scrape snow sblum dapat drive. Anyway pagi ni nasib aku kira baik la sebab Den (housemate sejati aku untuk empat tahun) pun nak pegi klas time tu so aku pun tumpang je kereta dia. At least tak berkumpul la snow atas kepala aku ni.

On the way balik from klas tu, Den call aku cakap skolah tutup harini. Aku macam, "Aik? Haritu blizzard lagi dahsyat tak tutup pun skolah, ini sikit je pun tutup?" So bila dah sampai bilik aku on la TV yang dah berhabuk kat hujung katil aku tu. Aku tengok NBC kat Channel 9. Diorang pun tengah report pasal weather time tu. Kereta banyak sangkut, and then banyak accidents jugak. Aku fikir, Alhamdulillah aku dan kawan-kawan selamat pegi and balik skolah.

So, since petang tu skolah tutup aku pun tido jela kat bilik - takde klas, takde meeting, takde kerja. Aku nak sangat keluar rumah amik gambar tapi snow lebat sangat. Camera aku ni takde weather sealing pun so aku tanak la dia rosak pulak tak pasal-pasal je kan. Angin pun kuat, buat sejuk badan je. So bila dah petang skit, aku dah takleh resist temptation nak keluar jugak amik gambar, so aku capai jaket aku and terus keluar rumah.

Kat luar, kebetulan tengah ada pakcik ni kat atas snow plow tengah kerja keras bersihkan jalan. Aku cari tempat yang ada cover sikit dekat ngan rumah aku and then aku snap gambar ni, dan beberapa gambar lain. Tak lama pun aku tahan kat luar tu. Sejuk!

Kat Colorado ni cuaca dia extreme. Harini snow banyak banyak, esok tu boleh terus panas (10 celcius = panas). Apa-apa pun, aku bersyukur la, sebab dah lama tak snow kat sini. Aku fikir, sungai sungai pun banyak dah nak kering kot. Dah la US ni supply air makin sikit, so, kalau nak tengok kebaikan blizzard ni, kira bagus la sebab dapat la manusia kat sini cukup air untuk hidup aman damai.

Dah. Tu je sebenarnya cerita dia. Aku ingat nak tulis sikit je pasal gambar ni tengok tengok panjang pulak. Hehe.

So, harap korang entertained la baca cerita aku yang tak semena-mena ni. Thanks sebab sudi spend time nak baca post ni.

Apape pun, bak kata Saiful Nang, "enjoice!"

Italy, London, Lille & Cardiff

2009-01-07T09:30:00.008-07:00

I don't usually do this, but this time I'll make an exception.

This post is dedicated to the people I met during my recent trip to Italy, London, Cardiff, and Lille.

For the past three weeks, I traveled to Europe from America to go places and to visit my friends and my aunt. I have to say, it's been the most thrilling and exciting moments in my life.

I'd like to thank:

1) Haneef Nasir - For your DSLR & the beautiful photos, for the accomodation during my short Cardiff trip, and for being a great company in Pisa, Florence, Rome and Cardiff.

2) Maureen & Valentina Nerdi - For being very helpful during our visit to Florence, Italy. To Maureen, I'll never forget the mini-countryside-tour and the background information you gave us about Florence's attractions. And Valentina, so far you're the best San Casciano tourguide that I've met.

3) Hadi Abdillah (and Yameen) & Jefriman Johari - For the best hospitality in London from the very first day I arrived until the very last minute I was in London. Seriously, London would be nothing to me without you guys around.

4) Saiful Adli, Hakim Roslan, and Syahir Kasim - Saiful for convincing me to go to Europe in the first place, for planning our Lille trip, for the jokes, Hakim for being such a great French tourguide, and Syahir for the camera in Lille.

5) My Aunty Latifah Khamis - I'm just glad I finally had the chance to go to London and visit you after so many years.

To Salad, Jufri, Acap, Sapir, Jay, Ija, Lisz, Fido, Sarip, Kenny, Lutfi, Aini, Adik (the fortune-teller), Yaa, Belle, Buna & Aida (sori tak sempat singgah Soton), Nabilah, Rapik, Shifa, Bebeh, Amat, Rafi, Nik, Imran, and again, to all the people listed above, it was a pleasure to have all of you guys be part of my trip. I had a really fun time spent with all of you.

And I'm already missing all the good times we've had.

Appreciation Comes When It's Not There Anymore

2008-10-04T00:09:00.003-06:00

Too often we forget to appreciate something when it lies abundantly upon us. When this suddenly disappears, become scarce, and not easily available for us to grab, then only we'd feel the real, true value of it.

You can just name it - Parents, good health, eyesight, God's blessings, good neighbors, our significant other, a peaceful nation, access to electricity and water, life, money, or freedom. Once these are taken away, then only we know how valuable they actually are to us.

Appreciation seems like it's quite a simple thing - but it's not. For some reason, it comes easier only when we don't have that special something anymore.

Anyways, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Eid Mubarak, and take care everyone. I apologize for any of my mistakes all this while. You guys have a good one alright. Cheers ;)

Are We Islam Enough?

2008-07-22T19:32:00.003-06:00

One night about two months ago, me and my other two friends spent four hours talking about life questions, world issues and such. It was really intriguing we got carried away and ended up spending four hours just exchanging ideas. I didn't feel much regret spending that much time, though, because we seldom talk about some serious life questions.

During the discussion, I had one of my biggest realizations ever - the question of "Am I Islam Enough?"

Honestly, I am one of many who believe that as long as we acknowledge that Allah is our God, then that'll pretty much prove that we are Islam enough. But my friend told me that when it comes to believing in God, there are two levels. "Rob", and "Illah".

Rob, could be described as the believe that there is God, while Illah, is a higher level that makes us believe and TOTALLY submit ourselves towards Him. Illah drives our life to only live for Him, and Illah makes us be His servant and let Him be our only reason to live.

Surely Illah sounds like a really high level, doesn't it? But as hard as we should work to achieve that level, we should also realize that being only at the Rob level does not guarantee us that we die in Islam.

But why? One might ask. If I believe in Allah, that should mean I'm a Muslim, right?

Not necessarily.

Whenever we refer to the word "Allah", it always depends on what is the context that we're referring Him to. If what we see in Allah is just as our God who is up there and the one who created this universe, then this is described as being at the "Rob" level. If we're only at this level, we should worry a lot.

Again, why? What's so wrong about being at the "Rob" level?

Well, it's simply because almost everybody believes in God. Even some of the atheists I've talked to believe that there should be some kind of higher power up there but they just don't know which religion is the correct one.

The Jews, Christians, for example - they all believe in the same God that we always refer to as "Allah". And worse, even the evil satans acknowledge the existence of Allah! So, if our belief in God is only at this level, we should worry because we might be risking ourselves to be placed at the same level as the satans!

But Illah, as pure as it is, means total submission. And total submission means that everything we do on this earth is because of Him, adhering to His words and avoiding what He dislikes. That's why He likes it better for us Muslims to call Him Allah instead of just God. (Note: You could still call Him Allah but mean just the God at the Rob level). Being at this level makes our prayers being the reason we stop committing sins. Being at this level makes us feel peace. Being at this level gives us security.

Now, ask ourselves, my fellow Muslim friends - are we only acknowledging Allah the same way satan does, or are we moving towards having Illah inside our hearts?

May Allah bless all of us in this world and in the hereafter.

Finally, Proton

2008-07-08T17:09:00.002-06:00

Last Monday, on the very front page of the "Ekonomi" section in Berita Harian, an article writes "Proton mampu berdikari". This article explains how Proton is now moving forward due to its success in their customer feedback on the latest Proton Saga and Persona.

Proton's CEO, Syed Zainal Syed Mohamad Tahir said,

"Semua usaha dilaksanakan sudah berhasil. Tanggungjawab Proton besar dan apa yang penting ialah mengeluarkan model disukai pembeli"

And the article further writes,

"Namun, katanya kunci kejayaan pembaharuan itu yang menekankan aspek mutu ialah Proton tidak boleh lagi mengeluarkan model 'syok sendiri'"

"Kami perlu mengeluarkan model disukai dan ia terbukti berjaya apabila Persona dan Saga baru mendapat sambutan."

Dumbfounded at first, then I thought "Oh, Yay..... Errr, Congratulations... Proton...."

After a looong 23 years in the business, FINALLY Proton got the secret formula of how to actually make cars: produce models that customers like. I could imagine the CEO in his office shouting with pride "Oh My God!!! Guys, Check this OUT!!! I got the secret formula!!!! We need, to make cars, that our customers love!!!! Wooot!!"

Lame...

Right now, let's cross our fingers and hope it won't take Proton another 23 years to finally learn that cars have four wheels.

Fuel Price Hike: Is Petronas Guilty?

2008-06-07T22:18:00.005-06:00

A few days ago, Malaysia Today posted an article titled "Petronas Could Go Bust By 2018". The article is originally written by Wong Sai Wan of The Star newspaper.

For those of you who don't have the time to read the whole article, it mainly suggested that Petronas will go bust within 10 years if all of its profits are handed to the Government to continue subsidizing fuel. Petronas CEO, Tan Sri Hassan Merican later talked about how production costs have increased in oil exploration and such.

People, of course, are hot happy with these kinds of statements since they seem to justify on the recent fuel subsidy restructuring (read: fuel price hike). But, Petronas will go bust by 2018 ONLY IF ALL of its funds are channeled to the government. So far, the government has NEVER taken ALL of Petronas' profits since 1974, the year Petronas was formed.

However, people got mad because they thought CEO Hassan Merican was making a statement that supported the fuel price hike. And so they wrote nasty comments.

From the comments just below the article, I was just amazed at how ignorant Malaysians truly are. I, too, do not know everything about the oil industry, but when people do not actually understand the situation and at the same time trying to sound smart, they start writing comments that ask people to boycott Petronas and write really stupid questions like "Then why does Petronas spend so much in oversea research for oil resources in corporation with foreign companies?". One fella also questioned "what really Petonas really benifit rakyat???" (See, this fella even had two typos in one sentence) Sheeeesh, I thought I was dreaming when I saw this.

But, you know what, I guess I can't blame people for not knowing how the industry works, but at least I think they should not try to write anything if they don't know facts. Since I am taking Petroleum Engineering as my major and at the same time being a Petronas scholar, I admit such remarks about Petronas only made me feel angry.

Regarding the fuel price hike, people might want to know that Petronas doesn't earn a single cent on the recent subsidy restructuring. In fact, due to the higher prices, local oil sales might even drop and thus reducing Petronas' revenue. So, NO, the price hike has nothing to do with Petronas. In this case, the ONLY party that saves money (RM13.7 billion in total) is our government because now the government no longer has to pay the subsidies to Petronas whenever we go to the gas stations to top off our tanks.

Petronas is just Malaysia's national oil company and it didn't play any role in the fuel price increase, so please stop blaming the company for the current inflation that's storming the country.

Drilling for oil nowadays DO cost much much higher than before (especially offshore) because all the conventional "easy" oils have been discovered and what's left for us to play with is just the small pockets of reservoirs deep deep down below. Bringing the oil to surface is not as simple as "poking" a hole on the ground today and selling the oil the day after that. Some could even take years (I personally believe this is the reason why oil price kept increasing lately due to the time lag the supply needs in adjusting itself to the currently high market demand). Thus, it's clear that whatever Tan Sri Hassan Merican said does hold truth. He at least knew what he's talking about.

So, people, let's not boycott Petronas since that's such a baseless idea it would only bring adverse effects to the country. The one to be blamed is not Petronas but whomsoever that mismanaged the funds channeled by Petronas. You see, when the money is not well managed (due to corruption, etc etc), the country runs out of it and so, now to save more money, the subsidy is being taken away. Well, to know more, do your own research using Google. I prefer not to talk further details about this or I'd just risk my scholarship being taken away or my whole blog being scraped.

Alright. Til my next post, take care, everyone.

I Support Kempen "Mari Ubah Gaya Hidup"

2008-06-05T19:31:00.002-06:00

A funny three-month old video now becomes relevant again after the recent fuel price hike. Watch below:

Malaysian Fuel Up 40% Overnight

2008-06-04T20:16:00.004-06:00

Although I'm ten thousand miles away from home, I could still hear about what just happened yesterday - a 78 cents per liter fuel price hike - 40% increase from its original price.

Me and my friends talked about this issue, and we had mixed ideas. One of my friends said he just loves the idea of subsidies being scraped away - as in, let's live with the market price and let's stop pampering fellow Malaysians with subsidies. Another agreed on this price hike because he said the government can no longer pay the higher subsidies as oil prices worldwide keep increasing lately. Plus, he said any price increase would definitely start causing people to adapt to a new lifestyle - carpooling, start using public transportation, or even start using old roads instead of highways to keep our expenses low.

My personal opinion? I don't know, but to me, any price increase is not good. It'll take months for me to find any good reason why fuel price increase is favorable. Even Americans are whining now because they're now paying close to $4.00 per gallon (around RM3.25 per liter - some people actually compared this and said "hey, bersyukur la, minyak kat US $3.25 seliter, kat Malaysia baru $2.70 seliter" - URGHH!!!)

At the same time, I'm actually quite confused, as to how the subsidy system really works. There should be a connection between Malaysia being the net exporter, the price of oil increasing and the fact that our government owns Petronas, which is now enjoying higher profits due to the price increase. If Petronas earns more, that means the government now earns more since Petronas is government owned (Plus Petronas pays taxes to the Feds). When the government has more money, doesn't that mean it is now even easier to subsidize gasoline than before - even with worldwide price increase?

I admit I'm not good at how the system really works, but until today nobody from the upper levels had come up with figures to clearly show or explain to us why Malaysian gasoline price should increase by 40% overnight. If increasing world price of oil has really hurt the government's budget due to the subsidies, I'd definitely support any option that'd be best for the situation, but when nobody explains what the hell is really going on at the backstage, how would I know if we Malaysians have been cheated or is this really for the good of the country? If any of you out there actually read this post and knows how the subsidy system really works, please kindly explain it to me on the comment section. I really need to know about it.

You know, it is true, we could all start carpooling now, but reality is - things are always easier said than done. If 50% of our drivers now decide to carpool, I'd award Malaysians as the most adaptable human beings on this planet.

No, it won't be 50%. Even 20% is good enough. Will people start using old curvy roads rather than highways? 20% less traffic on the highways - I'd call that a miracle. And how many people are willing to switch from using their 2.0 liter Honda to a 1.6 liter Waja?

Still talking about adapting? Maybe we need to start including some element of reality in there as well.

Right now, all I know is this - regardless, whether this price hike is the right decision or not, a 40% increase in the price of gasoline at gas stations will absolutely lead to higher inflation. And since most likely Malaysians' earnings won't go up as much as even 20% by next year, I doubt more among us would actually be happy that we're now paying RM2.70 per liter to fuel up our cars. The consequences will be worse.

Wake up, fellow Malaysians. I'm calling all of us find out if taking back the subsidy is really necessary for the betterment of the country. The government now better has some good figures to show us that this decision will benefit our life quality more than the price difference that we now have to pay at gas stations. As one of Malaysian citizens, I demand a thorough explanation on this decision.

Busy Busy Busy

2008-05-26T18:50:00.009-06:00

Alright, I know "I'm-busy" is just an excuse, but...

... seriously, I had too many things to do in such a short time I couldn't update my blog at all for the past few weeks. If any of you visited my blog and see nothing new posted (and got irritated), I apologize.

Starting from early-May, I had five final papers to go thru. Two days after I'm done with finals, I had to go to a 12-day geology field session in Massadona, a place northwest of Colorado that takes 6-hour of driving to reach. The next morning after we're done with field session, I had to take a flight to St. Louis, Missouri and drive down to Southern Illinois University, Carbondale, Illinois for Midwest Games 2008. It's a three-day event and today I just got back which means my busy schedule just ended. Everything went well so I should say alhamdulillah...

Alright. Now it's summer time so I'm going to relax for three months and forget about school. Hopefully I'd be able to write some posts on this holiday and hopefully some of you would still feel like coming here to check if this blog is updated at all..

Later...

Respect Yourself First

2008-04-21T18:15:00.005-06:00

I work part-time on campus. I'm one of the three lab assistants helping Al, the lab coordinator for the Petroleum Engineering Department here at school.

One of the most interesting part in doing this part-time job with Al is that he'll at times give us advices one might usually regard as "wisdom". And sure, I personally think Al is a wise man.

This morning, first thing after Chrissy (one of the three lab assistants) and I reported ourselves to work, we updated him about some work stuff. Later we deviated into other topics and one of them was concerning women and respect.

Al talked quite a lot on it. He said some men are just not respecting women, thinking that men are superior to women, etc. etc. He obviously was against that, and I couldn't agree more with him. We believe women should be equally respected in any circumstances.

"But...", Al continued, "...women should know how to respect themselves first before they want or demand men to respect them"

He later suggested that if physical beauty is the only thing that a woman put forward to let themselves be regarded as, while neglecting the fact that she also has other non-physical qualities and achievements, then most likely this woman will be treated as such. Most likely men will treat them like objects - beautiful objects, of course, but nothing more than that. And when this happens, it's the woman's fault and she doesn't have much room to ask for men to give them the respect they actually deserve.

And I thought...

In other words, women should not only "sell" their physical attractiveness, because if they do, that'll be the only thing men will appreciate about them. If women also "sell" their other humanly self-qualities, they'll be much more appreciated as an equally respected human being.

But you know, men are not noble, either. Some men, even with women who respect themselves in the first place, will still think that women are mere objects who are inferior to them. In this case, then it's the man's fault for not respecting the woman. And if you meet one of these men, you'll immediately see the word "J.E.R.K" hugely printed right up on their forehead.

And I believe the whole respecting-yourself-first idea should also go to men. Notice how some men let beautiful women manipulate themselves and treating them unfairly but will still like the woman and humbly say sorry every single time he has the chance to. And notice every time the man stands up for himself, then woman will later give him more of the respect that man deserves. Dating expert, David Deangelo, for example, describes this as something like "Not letting women treat you with second-class behavior".

And I guess this "law" is quite universal that it is actually true in a lot of other circumstances. It's logical, and it makes a lot of sense, too. See - if we do not respect ourselves, how can we ever expect other people to give it to us in return, right?

What Zionists' Don't Want The World To Know

2008-04-20T12:44:00.005-06:00

Take three minutes to watch this video. Americans are not exposed to these kinds of news. I'd like to take back some of my earlier comments saying that their media is free. Surely, if something has an ownership, it'll best represent the interests of its owner, right? And the "free" American media is just the same as any other controlled media we see around the world, especially when it comes to US foreign policies. I'd strongly suggest Americans who'd like to know what it's actually like out there to search somewhere else other than what you're fed on that huge TV you have. The internet might be the most independent media of all.

Now, let us together pray so that the Palestinians will be more protected from the filthy Zionists. And so that Allah will damn those Zionists who have no heart to the point that going into someone else's home and breaking walls do not seem to be something to feel guilty of anymore.

Humbled

2008-04-13T19:01:00.005-06:00

An open letter to whom it may concern

It's so hard
That it hurts inside it kills me slowly
Whenever this feeling comes
It just makes me feel humbled all over again

I am angry
I am mad
Not towards you but towards myself
But nothing could be done
Thus my only choice is to feel humbled

I may not be the ideal one
And I may not be the best
But no matter what happens
I know I will try my best
To be responsible, to be respectful
To have your trust, and to be sincere in this

I apologize
If you were hurt
I know it's hard to forgive

I do not know if you will ever forgive me
Or even to spare me a chance to prove myself
But what I do know - is that

My apology sincerely comes from the bottom of my humbled heart

I'm sorry...

Ron Paul Is America's Only Hope

2008-04-11T20:09:00.011-06:00

Photo credit: AP / Charlie Neibergall.

Living in the US has given me the tempias of the upcoming Presidential Election - taking place end of 2008. I have not read much of the candidates, but amidst my ignorance, I used to prefer Barack Obama.

But I've given up on Obama. Now it's Ron Paul time.

One might ask: Why the hell should you care about whoever becomes the US President? It's not like you're gonna be able to vote. Dude, you're a Malaysian for God's sake!

My answer: Well, because the US' Foreign Policies are vital to the rest of the world, thus knowing who gets to be the President will also guide us as to what should we anticipate in the near future , for example - more wars or no wars anymore? I am a human being living on this earth and somehow I do care what happens to the people in Iraq, Iran, Vietnam, and any other countries. I'd like to know if world peace will be restored or eroded more and more.

Now, I'd like to clarify that the reason I like Ron Paul is not because he is a Republican. Actually, in many ways, Ron Paul's ideas actually do not sound too Republican. I like Ron Paul particularly because of his ideas to restore the American constitution back in place just like what their founding fathers wanted back then. Many in America believe that for various reasons, the systems that they have today are slowly taking away Americans' sovereignty. Ron Paul is the only candidate who doesn't support the War against Iraq, and at the same time he seems to be the only one who is against the Patriot Act - an act similar to the famous Malaysian Internal Security Act (ISA). These outdated and colonial-like acts give governments unlimited power to jail anyone that they wish without trial in court and even without our rights to appoint a lawyer to defend ourselves. And in my opinion, these kinds of laws should not exist anymore in this world for any reason. If one is said to be guilty, he/she should have the right to at least defend him/herself before getting charged and jailed.

Also, learning (or I might also call it grilled) by a two hour movie Zeitgeist, I am now all clear that just as much as what should be done to Malaysia, so much should also be done in America. And to me, as we speak, the only man who seems to realize on what the main problems Americans are facing is Ron Paul.

So, what are the main problems that Americans are facing?

To answer this, first, let me talk about the movie Zeitgeist. The movie is somewhat an independent movie which costed me two hours of my afternoon sleep. But I'm glad I "paid" the two hour to gain some useful realizations as to what is really happening in American economy.

The movie has three parts, where the first part scrutinizes the existence of Jesus Christ (or probably even God) which I certainly do not agree with simply because I'm a Muslim and we firmly believe in the existence of Jesus (who is regarded as one of our Prophets before Muhammad).

But the other two parts, however, are mind-blogging. Too many facts (even some not properly cited) have been presented and they support one another you just can't deny that something wrong has been going really wrong with this world even from the beginning of the 20th century.

The two parts talk about the 9/11 attack (plus some previous world wars) and the Federal Reserve System (which is something like Malaysia's Bank Negara but privately-controlled). Net result - too disturbing to churn.

There is simply too much to be said about the movie that I would recommend all of you to spend some time watching it. And I especially recommend watching the last two parts. You can skip that first one.

And so, why Ron Paul? This time, my answer is: "Easy. Watch Zeitgeist on Google Video, search Ron Paul on Youtube, and you'll see what I'm trying to say"

Peace and out.

Freedom Of Speech - Dutch Style

2008-04-06T13:39:00.011-06:00

Have you seen the latest Dutch hit, "Fitna"? If you haven't, you should. Go to YouTube and you'll find it there.

It is amusing to know that some people are producing videos or cartoons that they know are sensitive to Muslims, and later say

"Hey, this is freedom of speech! I can write and do whatever I want because we the civilized countries know better than you developing countries do! This is freedom of speech. You know nothing about it. So don't get offended, because if you do then I'm gonna call you terrorists!"

Pathetic.

That's the only description I could say to the people who can't distinguish between what is proper and what is not. These "civilized" people can't even tell if they're only using freedom of speech without taking somebody else's dignity or not.

Let's take this conversation as an example on how confused these people are:

Friend: Geert, I have two hands. Can I say that I should have freedom for my two hands to do whatever that I want? I mean, I should be able to pick up anything and use my hands to hold anything that I want, right?

Geert Wilders: Oh, yes! Why not? We humans have freedom in doing anything that we want!

And so Friend walked towards Geert Wilder's wife who's standing next to him and landed his hand on her ****** (you choose, whichever part that is sensitive).

Flabbergasted, Geert Wilders punched Friend on the face as hard as he could. He could not believe Friend had such an intention. With his nose bleeding, Friend said

Friend: What the hell, Geert?! You just told me that I could use my hands for anything. You said my two hands have freedom!

Geert Wilders: Are you stupid or what?! This is my wife. I treasure her the most and of course someone touching my wife is something that is offensive to me. I won't ever allow you to do that, and I don't care how much freedom your two hands have, you still can't go touching some private parts which are sensitive to some!! Limit that freedom you have, will you?!

And seeing that scene from far, a Muslim guy shook his head seeing how stupid Geert Wilders is. He talks about freedom of speech, but he doesn't know how to limit his. He doesn't know what offends others and yet he gets offended when others touch his wife's private part because to him, "it is offensive". UUuuu. Now he's talking about what's offensive and what's not.

Besides some European countries, freedom of speech is also common in America. People make fun of others on the Comedy Central TV channel, but yet they still know what should be the limits. And knowing that some jokes could be offensive, most stand up comedians prefer to use self-depreciating jokes, where they would humiliate themselves, their own race, their religion, or their own family members. Even in America people know how to use freedom of speech while behaving themselves.

But Geert Wilders? To him, freedom of speech is smearing other people's religion. He seems to know freedom of speech better than anyone else in the whole world.

I guess this is freedom of speech - Dutch style.

Shame on you, Geert.

Excellence Speaks for Itself

2008-04-03T16:52:00.006-06:00

Excellence comes from various ways. Being a respectable leader, an intelligent student, a man who's good with women, an active philanthropist, a caring parent, a successful businessperson - all categorized under what I call excellence.

Now. Excellence is not a living thing, but would all of you believe me if I say that excellence speaks for itself?

Just by looking at the way successful individuals deal with situations, we know that they are indeed good at what they're doing. Somehow, the skill radiates some kind of message that's saying "Hey, I'm good at doing this job". For instance, listening to some prominent leaders' speeches tells us instantly that he/she has some credibility in what he/she is doing.

While excellence is achieved by many, not everyone who has it know that excellence actually speaks for itself. Or they probably know it, but they think it's not enough to just let excellence does its job. Thus they also tend to "speak" for the excellence that they have achieved.

I have once heard some people saying

"When you've done a good job, let success speak for itself - don't interrupt"...

Until today I believe that there's so much truth in these words. There is absolutely no need for all of us to "interrupt" when our excellence can project its own image to others without our help.

I for one think that if we ever try to speak for our own excellence, it only shows that we're only irritating others into thinking that we're actually not that excellent after all. In a layman's term, this is what we call "bragging". Yes, if we need that much attention from others to show them how much we've got, we now fall far far below the level of excellence, plus we will lose respect from others at the same time.

Why is this so? If there's more effort put into trying to send the same message, logic tells us that the effect should be greater, am I right?

Errr, No...

Unfortunately, this time it doesn't work that way. This time even Mr. Logic is wrong. But why?

My opinion is this: It is because the act of praising our own self is not even part of excellence. Rather, it is a sign of our insecurity - due to the fact that we need to "project it", or else, we'd think that there's no way others can see the excellence if we live it alone to speak by itself.

But you know, the worst part of all is this - while some of us think that by telling others would alleviate our status, it'll actually just do the opposite. It instantaneously kill our reputation.

And it's sad when some of us just never learn.

Malaysia: Race & Racism

2008-03-30T11:18:00.005-06:00

Lately, there's a lot of Malaysians screaming about wanting a Malaysian Malaysia, where everyone is treated equally regardless of their race. "Bangsa Malaysia" is said to be the new race to replace what we've been calling Chinese, Indians, and Malays.

Well, I am definitely happy to know that race will slowly play less of a role in determining government allocation of funds. Like any other developed country, I support fully the need to help the poor regardless of their race. This is in fact a much healthy scene for Malaysian's political, business and social landscape for it will help to further reduce the income gap between the rich and the poor.

So, Bangsa Malaysia seems to be a good idea. But is it easy to just disregard race?

From my observation, it's not easy.

Just look at the popular independent news site, malaysia-today.net. Even the many people who are championing about having "Bangsa Malaysia" as our new label to all Malaysians are still using terms like Malays, Chinese and Indians in their blogs and comments. But does this mean that these people are racists? No, not necessarily.

See, there's a huge difference between race and racism. Having race that differentiates us in culture, religion, and ways of life is totally fine. There's nothing wrong to acknowledge that someone is from another race. Anyways, if race really doesn't matter to us, why are we still calling people from Asia as Asian and Westeners as Whites/Europeans? And if race really doesn't matter, I'm sure today we are calling ourselves as "earthans", or anything close to it. So, this is race, and acknowledging that we're of different races should not be a problem.

But racism?

Racism is no way close to just acknowledging race. Racism is when one race feels that they are superior than another. Racism is when one race thinks that the others should bow down to them. Racism is only for sick-minded people like the KKK's. So, racism is a No-No - definitely.

In Malaysia's case, I think there is no need for us to try to come up with one race name like "Bangsa Malaysia" or "Bangsa Melachindian" (well, I don't know if that name even sounds good) to replace our already established Malay, Chinese and Indian.

Yes, there's no need to do so. Why?

Because it's just not realistic and it is impractical to do so. Just look at America. After so many years, they're still calling themselves African-American and (Caucasian)-American. But this in no way makes them racist. Like I said earlier, one becomes a racist only when he/she thinks that his/her race is superior than another.

In Malaysia, we should not allow racism to plague the country. No one race is superior in Malaysia. Even when the Chinese are good at doing business, they can never claim that they're a superior race compared to the Malays or Indians. If the Indians are better in being dermatologists, so be it. Just because the Chinese and Indians come later, doesn't make the Malays any better than the other races. We're all equal. Everyone in the country should treat others equally fair and just.

If there should be any discrimination made, that will only be the rich, and the already-established companies (by taxing them more). Poor ones, and smaller start-up companies, regardless of the race of the individuals involved, should be helped.

Seeing ourselves united as purely Malaysians is definitely the best way to go. But as far as eliminating race labels is concerned, I think it is not practical. My 2 cents is this - we won't be able to just throw away the Indian, Chinese and Malay labels because it is evident that we have been created with different features.

And that, too, is why God has created us with different races - for us to get to know, trade, work, and tolerate one another. If we're all created with the same features and attitudes, how boring do you think this world would be?

I Need Some Personal Check & Balance

2008-03-22T13:14:00.003-06:00

Check & balance is a must. For Muslims, one of our check and balances should be Allah, where we know that He is watching us all the time. Even when no one is around, He is around to ensure we don't dare do evil. For a student like me, I also think I need a few personal check and balance factors to keep me rolling on the right track in terms of studies and my part-time job.

Being a human full of imperfection, I find myself sometimes lazy and procrastinating. Some recent events really taught me on why personal check and balance is a must. One day I overslept where it almost costed me my part-time job as a lab assistant in our Petroleum Engineering department.

With my strict (but fatherly) boss being my personal check and balance factor in my daily life as a student here, I'm glad now I care and appreciate more about the job that I have. Should I lose this job, I'd lose so much of my side income it might even affect my studies.

To make this story a lesson, I should say that all of us should recognize and ask - what has been our personal check and balance all these while? Such check and balances would keep us away from being complacent, lazy and inefficient. They push us to the limits where we would work our hardest to appreciate whatever that we have now. And pushing ourselves to the limit is a must for personal growth. Otherwise, 5 years from now, we will still be at the same level as today.

Cheers.

Government VS Political Party

2008-03-09T11:15:00.005-06:00

Dear Malaysians,

I do not know if this is too basic of a knowledge that I'd sound stupid trying to explain it. But from what I have observed, it seems like a lot of us (to my surprise, even the hosts on national TV) do not really know how to differentiate between a government and a political party.

First things first. BARISAN NASIONAL (BN) IS NOT EQUAL TO THE GOVERNMENT.

BN is a coalition of parties. Inside BN, there's UMNO, MCA, MIC, Gerakan, and another 10 parties.

Other than BN, we have Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR), Parti Islam SeMalaysia (PAS), and Democratic Action Party (DAP). These are of course just the famous few of many more parties that we have in Malaysia. And these parties have different ways to look at and deal with national issues.

Government, on the other hand, is a group of people/ministers formed by either a single party, or a coalition of parties. A government handles national matters and spends taxes paid by citizens and corporations to execute national plans. During election process, the citizens will look at all of the parties' offers on how to deal with national issues, and choose the party that we think have the best offer to form the government.

Therefore, a government can be formed by any party contesting in an election. It doesn't matter, BN, PKR, DAP, PAS, all of these parties can form a government individually or mixed. Our problem is, after having BN being our government for the past 50 years (and for the next 4-5 years), a lot of people seem to have been confused when to use the term government, where most of us call BN as the government. If in the next election PKR, DAP and PAS wins simple majority in the Parliament, then please, once and for all we need to stop calling the BN coalition-of-parties as the government.

So, in the recent election, it was not the government who lost the four states... BN lost the four states to the hands of PKR, DAP and PAS. And if we love BN, we should say we sokong BN instead of we sokong kerajaan.

I just hope this clears up if not many, some of the people's confusion. To be honest, I am somewhat disturbed when people are even using the term government when they are actually referring to the BN coalition (this was on national TV, during election).

To those who just learned this difference, please do educate your friends as well. Thanks.

The Way of a Good Friend

2008-03-09T10:33:00.006-06:00

I could not emphasize enough on how important friendships are. Some of us do claim that we make a good friend, but probably we should start evaluating ourselves whether or not we've been nice to our friends all this while.

I don't have a list of what will make a good/loyal friend, but what I'm going to talk about here is on how some "friends" do actually talk behind the back of another friend. Okay, let's assume that there's three people, A, B and C. They're all close friends.

For some reason, A doesn't like B, so A tells C how B is behaving this and that way and how A is disgusted with B.

Now, if we are C, how would we react? I figured out that there are four possible ways to react to A's comments:

First, is the worst (hopefully not the most common) reaction of all. C joins A in his/her arguments and C adds fuel to the flame (Despite having a good relationship with B). And in the end, they both agree that B is bad. But in front of B, they act all nice. Nod if you know what I'm talking about.

The second possible reaction is the same one as the first one, but this time both A and C doesn't want to talk to B even when in front of B (Yes, showing your dissent is actually better than actually having a talam dua muka [double-face])

Third, is quite neutral. C listens, and ask some relevant questions, such as what proofs A has to prove that B is a bad person. Or C could just listen and keep silent.

Fourth, is the way good friends actually are. No matter what A said and no matter what B "did" in the story, C will just listen and in the end say things like "I don't know if what you're saying is true, but B is my friend, and so far I haven't had any problems with B. B's been a good friend to me. So I'd probably just give B the benefit of doubt". Or if the time and place is not right to argue on the matter, C will just listen and not reply, but inside C is giving B the benefit of doubt.

Now, which type of friend are you?

A New Chapter For Democracy In Malaysia

2008-03-08T18:56:00.009-07:00

Yesterday was HISTORICAL for Malaysians.

The BN coalition has never been denied it's two-thirds parliamentary seats for the past five decades. For the first time ever, this 12th election has shown how the power has been given back to the people. The prime media describes this as the "wave", "sentimen", or "tsunami".

Apart from losing it's two-thirds parliamentary position, BN also lost four states, on top of all parliamentary seats in Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur being taken away (except for Setiawangsa). These four states are Penang, Kedah, Perak and the most unexpected of all, Selangor.

Prior to election, when the opposition claimed that they are going to deny BN two-thirds of the parliamentary seats, honestly, for several reasons I was a bit skeptical of the opposition winning 75 of the 222 seats. It just seemed like they have to do too much work to achieve this.

But instead, the public have proven that I was wrong.

I am writing this only because I am so amazed at how Malaysians are brave enough to actually be ready for a change. This is because, making a decision to change itself is a really hard process. It needs a lot of courage, determination and trust to change. It is not that easy.

If Malaysians are brave enough now, that only means we've become more mature, and thus a lot more things can happen in the future for the benefit of all. The possibilities are endless. For this nationwide courage, I congratulate all Malaysians.

Whoever lost or whoever won, I should say that all of us should look at this change from the positive side of it. All sides must have tried their best, so there's nothing to regret for. I'm sure it must have been hard for BN to lose four states in one election, but I myself as a Malaysian citizen believe that this change is also good for BN because it lets not only BN, but also PKR, DAP and PAS realize that the political parties do not have the power - the people do.

Therefore, any party governing any state in Malaysia will serve the people better in the coming years, knowing that they will lose the people's trust if they ever fumble. And at the end of the day, isn't it true that the people will get the most out of this change? And shouldn't all political parties be happy when the rakyat wins, for all of their missions are to serve Malaysians in the best way possible?

Therefore, I'd rather consider this as a victory for all of us. Malaysians, let's work together despite our different views to create a better nation.

Al Jazeera Reports on Malaysian Election

2008-03-01T17:42:00.001-07:00

Randy Pausch's Last Lecture

2008-02-29T13:13:00.008-07:00

What would you want to tell others if you know you're only going to live for a few more months?

Randy Pausch, a professor in Carnegie Mellon University (Pennsylvania) gave his "last" words before his pancreatic-cancer-driven death. He gave a full length "last" lecture in September 2007 in his university for 76 minutes, but the one I'm posting here is a shorter version of 10 minutes shown on Oprah two weeks after the original lecture.

He gave some really sound advice on life and how to live. I should say that most of his advice is the kind of advice any father would give to his children. Spend 10 minutes to listen to what Professor Randy Pausch has to say by clicking play on the video below.

Between Age, Media and the Truth

2008-02-17T05:32:00.015-07:00

I was talking to my dad yesterday, and I expressed my concerns over the overwhelming information I have gained through the internet, where there is too much revelation about government's bad practice in Malaysia, while all I have learned since I was small is that BN forms such a good government it'll ensure security and cater the citizen's needs across religions and races. I asked him what's his take on such issues.

Answering my question, I remember he said:

"Memanglah kerajaan ni ada yang tak betulnya, tapi banyak juga benda betul yang dia buat. Lagi banyak yang betul daripada yang tak betul. Banyak yang dia dah bagi kita. Kita mudah nak cari kesalahan orang lain, tapi takkan ada kerajaan yang perfect. Kalau opposition memerintah pun, tak tentu lagi bagusnya. PAS di Kelantan pun bukannya 100% bersih dari segi corruption ni, bang. Lagipun, kerajaan sekarang ni dah lama dan ada banyak pengalaman mentadbir."

"Ayah dulu macam abang juga waktu muda-muda. Banyak perkara yang ayah tak setuju dengan kerajaan. Tapi bila dah makin tua, ayah makin rasional. Ayah fikir-fikir, kalau ayah pun di atas sana, ayah takkan dapat puaskan hati semua orang. Pilihanraya kali ni pun nampaknya macam tak ada isu langsung. Mungkin lagi kurang isu daripada pilihanraya yang lepas-lepas. Memang betul ayah baca suratkhabar tempatan, tapi ayah pun dah tua dan ayah tapis jugak apa-apa information yang datang daripada sumber-sumber ni."

I did present few arguments that question his judgments, but in the end, I should say that like always, I still fully respect my dad and his words. I took his lines as wisdom I should live by. But when my dad said that there's not much issue happening for this upcoming election, that contradicts with a lot of things I've been exposed to. I mean, does that mean I'm wrong? Or has my dad been exposed to the local newspapers too much that he now thinks there's no big issue happening?

If there's no issue at all, what about Bersih and Hindraf? What about reports that talk about the police force arresting people on peaceful-gatherings without any solid reason? Is this the effect of a government-controlled media? (To report that the situation is okay while it's not). Or, just like him, but on the opposite side - probably I have been too much exposed to foreign and free internet media that my mind is now clouded by thoughts like "The government is wrong", while actually Malaysia is doing just fine? Is Malaysia doing fine?

I also believe him when he said that he had the same thoughts when he was young. As in, maturity matters. Young people are often immature and doesn't have much experience. This is true. But could this be the reason why a lot of us are concerned after hearing even the slightest issue being reported? At the age of 20 something, do we not have sufficient logical and rational mindset to think that the government is wrong even after few revelations have been made? Are we too young to judge that we easily get emotionally irritated over petty things? And, is it true that only young people are concerned over things like power abuse because youngsters are immature, don't have experience and often too idealistic? Or will my dad change his thoughts if he also gets access to much of the free media? Same goes here - Will I change my thoughts if I also read the local newspapers everyday, apart from the internet?

What is going on?

To be honest, my conversation with my dad has left me quite confused.

Between age and media, I do not know which one to believe in.

Therefore, until I truly understand the dynamics as a whole and get as much information as I could from all kinds of sources, I'm keeping an open mind and choose not to take any sides. This is probably the best solution for now. Since I can't vote because it's too late to register, I will keep myself updated and wait for the results on March 8.

I am willing to learn and grow. I prefer to be wise than extreme. Let the results show how good our government is doing now. Like many have predicted, I'm pretty sure BN will still form a government, but I'd like to see if it'll maintain two-thirds of the parliamentary seats. If it does, congratulations on the achievement, for it proves that the administration has done a good job in keeping majority of the people happy (Assuming that this 12th General Election is free, fair and clean). Otherwise, the opposition might need to make some changes in current policies for the betterment of the country.

I pray to God for the truth and give whatever that is best for us. Amin.

The Cost of Independence by Diplomacy

2008-02-14T23:19:00.008-07:00

"We got our independence by diplomacy. We didn't have to go to war. Not a single drop of blood was spilled. And we're damn proud of it."

These were the thoughts that our history textbooks generally convey, and we Malaysians wanted to brag about not having to go into war like how Indonesians got their independence from the Dutch. Well, at least this was how I felt when I was eleven or so.

Looking from the other side of the story, could we question that there might have been a "cost" that came together with the diplomacy-based independence? I mean, what led British to giving us independence by diplomacy?

I didn't want to inquire about such information. Like some people say, "Ignorance is Bliss". But one day I bumped into one documentary that tells some important stories that are not included in our history textbooks. And because this documentary has filled the knowledge gap that's been there among Malaysians for a while, it was awarded the title of "Most Outstanding Human Rights Film - Freedom FilmFest Award 2007".

Now, I know a lot of us DO NOT like to learn history because it is SO BORING we would sleep throughout the class from the first second to the last, yadda yadda yadda... But I have to tell you guys that this one is DIFFERENT. It'll keep you awake (Okay, now I feel like I'm selling a direct-selling product). Well, no this one is not something like that. It's an objective film and it'll just enrich your knowledge about Malaysian history.

This film is a true story told by interviews done with some important figures who were also fighting for independence. It has really given me an opportunity to learn some additional knowledge and stories happening ten years before Malaya gained independence. This is interesting and I'd say it's definitely a must-watch.

The title of this documentary is "Sepuluh Tahun Sebelum Merdeka", by Fahmi Reza (and crews). The total length of the clips is approximately 30 minutes, so you're gonna need some patience.

To know more, feel free to click here:

Youtube - Sepuluh Tahun Sebelum Merdeka - Part 1

Youtube - Sepuluh Tahun Sebelum Merdeka - Part 2

Youtube - Sepuluh Tahun Sebelum Merdeka - Part 3

Youtube - Sepuluh Tahun Sebelum Merdeka - Part 4

And to go to it's official page, click here:

Sepuluh Tahun Sebelum Merdeka Official Site

Cheers.

Relationships Are Like Jual-Beli

2008-02-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

Here's something a friend of mine told me recently, which I think is very interesting to share with you guys:

"Sometimes, being in a relationship is very much like being in a market. You, orang kedai, and your partner nak beli your products. You know barang you tak perfect, tapi you tau ada quality. You gotta sell it! Sell the quality. She knows these barang tak perfect, tapi that's not the only thing she looks into. She weighs the good and the bad. If you know how to sell it, she'll buy it. So, sell it to her!"

Imperfection-based insecurities, anyone?

Remember, like my friend said, "If you know how to sell it, she'll buy it".

And another thing. This also applies to girls. Just change all the "her" and "she" to "him" and "he", and you're good to go.

Cheers.

Proton - A New Saga?

2008-02-08T07:42:00.000-07:00

Proton, as we all know, is the Malaysian carmaker established in 1983. A collaboration with Mitsubishi and government protection by applying excise duties on foreign cars helped this company to grow slowly and managed to control approximately 73% of the market share five years after it came into business.

Later, performance of Proton dropped, letting Perodua become the largest national carmaker with 42% of market share, while Proton's market share dropped from 40% in 2005 to 32% in 2006.

Things got worse for Proton, and as some people described it, "Proton is bleeding".

But early this year, Proton launches it's latest model, an enhanced Proton Saga, codenamed Proton BLM during it's design and development process.

From my observation, this latest model is by far the most successful model that Proton has designed. Comments on existing blogs are mainly positive and a lot of people seem to really like this car with 23000 orders placed for this model within just a few weeks of its launch. I personally think that the car looks good, at least for the fact that it is an economical B-Class car.

Source: http://proton-edar.com.my

Is this a new beginning for Proton?

It seems like one, and I surely hope so. It is reported that this new design is a really different design compared to the previous models in every aspect, which could be the base of designing better enhanced models in the future.

With historically unsatisfactory customer service and losses that it has experienced, Proton cannot afford to be any less efficient than it's current state. Proton needs to move forward no matter what. And moving forward doesn't mean moving forward alone. Proton desperately needs positive changes in QC, as well as customer service.

If Proton fails again in the future (and yet still want to save the 100 000 jobs created from the company and its vendors), I think it'd be best if Proton gets a talented foreign CEO by selling its shares to some non-Malaysian companies just like how Nissan sold 37% of its stakes to French's Renault in 1999 and started to generate profit afterwards. Now, Renault owns 45% of Nissan's shares.

I am not a Proton basher, neither do I think it produces the best cars in the world. I do think government's protection is a must for Proton to help the company grow at first but at the same time this has caused the situation to be somewhat like rent seeking, so protection can't continue forever or Proton will die once it is exposed to the real competition.

I am just like any other Malaysian, hoping to see that someday Proton will make it to be one of the world's biggest players in the car business. So, if Proton has the same vision as this, it better get serious in the business. It is a tough business, so it's only now or never again. If Proton ever screws up again and expect Petronas to cover the consequences like what happened before, that'll be the end of it. I will never ever hope for anything better from Proton other than this one time.

To Proton, good luck in making this brand new saga a reality. May this company bring the pride and benefits Malaysians are supposed to get from it.

Read. Inquire. Scrutinize. Question.

2008-01-31T19:03:00.001-07:00

This post is specially dedicated to my fellow friends.

With the upcoming general election in Malaysia (speculated to be held in March), parties have been busy campaigning and bloggers like Lim Kit Siang and Raja Petra just can't have much break. Local newspapers like Utusan Malaysia, Berita Harian, and The New Straits Times also have started to warm up for the election. Well, while these people are busy preparing for the election, I wonder if we are doing the same.

Although most of us are students, be it local or abroad, I just felt the urge to write this post because I do believe that a lot of us do not really have much interest to know about what is going on in our country as far as politics is concerned. It is well understood that we are all busy with studies and personal matters, but lately I also think that being 21 and over has brought us a new responsibility that we should not take for granted - and this is the responsibility to vote.

And because of this new responsibility, I feel that we need to start at least know what is actually going on in Malaysia. Therefore, I'd like to encourage all of us, myself especially, to get to know at least the basic stuffs that we need as voters.

We need to know the procedures on how to register as a voter. We need to know the basics of a government and what it does. We need to know what parties are involved. We need to know expectations of what we should get from a government and also government's expectations of us. We need to be realistic enough to think that no administration is perfect, but at the same time know our rights as citizens. We need to read - Read the local newspapers, watch news on the televisions, read blogs on the internet, read people's comments on the blogs, find useful information and get to know what people are talking about nowadays, be it from the opposition side or the ruling party.

I'd say the best move for us is to read a lot and read from all kinds of sources, and not to stick to just one biased source. Why? Because the best judgement that we can make is after considering all kinds of information that we have acquired. Knowing about current issues are just vital. Therefore, inquire. Be critical. Ask questions. Get involved.

One more tip when reading news, blogs and reports is to always scrutinize the contents. Humans write according to their perspectives, so sometimes even the best bloggers could be wrong. Sometimes they make mistakes, but sometimes their ideas is just undeniably genius. I personally like Farish A. Noor of Othermalaysia.org due to his neutrality in his writings.

If you need other recommendations, I would say use Google and type keywords like Utusan, NST, The Star, UMNO, Pemuda UMNO, MCA, MIC, Barisan Nasional, PKR, DAP, PAS, Malaysiakini, Harakahdaily, Jeff Ooi, Lim Kit Siang and OtherMalaysia.org, Malaysia Today. These are all good sources to read from. Youtube is another interesting source. Whatever it is, just keep an open mind when you're surfing.

Well, I do not intend to sound too smart, or sound like I know about everything - because I don't. In fact, I actually regard myself as a newbie to this. Bus as far as knowing about the goings-on in Malaysia, I should say that I've learned more now than I ever did before. And I think it should be a really huge benefit for all of us to learn some basics and issues in Malaysian politics. I would therefore again, urge all of us including myself to equip ourselves with some useful knowledge about the country, especially now with the election coming close.

Anyway, we're Malaysian citizens, so aren't we the ones responsible to care about our own country and make it a better place to live?

Letter from a Desperate Housewife

2008-01-27T15:58:00.000-07:00

I got this joke from Dr Azwan's blog page. I'm re-posting it here to share it with you guys. This is a must-read..

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Housewife

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Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wavfiles.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,

IT Support

The Economics of Love

2008-01-20T01:42:00.000-07:00

From a combination of economics theory, love, relationship failures and success stories, I came up with quite a simple theory that finds a connection between attention and attraction..

It's called "The Economics of Love". And here what it's all about..

My theory says that Attraction works more of like a "price", and attention works more of like the "quantity of goods available". Let's say our example is a girl and her name is Siti. Being the only person with the name Siti who has her own unique personality traits that defines herself, she can then declare that she's the world's only supplier of brand-name "Siti's Attention", thus making her a monopoly in the market since her product is unique. Now, "Siti's Attention" is always produced under her own control and conscience..

Now let's get a typical guy's name to be Siti's partner. Let's just name him Ali.. Since he is Siti's partner, thus we can assume that Ali is the target audience (or the market consumers) of the product called "Siti's Attention".

Would you agree with me if I say this -- If "Siti's Attention" is produced in huge numbers every single day, in amounts that far exceeds what Ali can consume every day, flooding Ali's mind, time and energy, thus the price to get one unit of "Siti's Attention" has now decreased...

This is the reason why -- If Ali can earn something like "Siti's Attention" all the time without having to put hardly any effort, then the price of "Siti's Attention" will drop. "Siti's Attention" has now become less in value. And the market surely doesn't crave for something that's easy to get.

Being a monopoly, how can Siti increase the price of "Siti's Attention"? -- The answer is by controlling the supply. Siti needs to produce a smaller amount (or just the right amount) of "Siti's Attention" for Ali so that the price of "Siti's Attention" will go back to the appropriate level. As the availability of "Siti's Attention" is lower (and harder to obtain), it's price will increase. With this, Ali will become more attracted to it (Ever wonder why people are much more attracted to a Mercedes than a Kancil?)

If you ask me if it also works the other way around (A girl and A guy's attention) -- I believe it does..

So, what have we learned here? Take this example and see if we have been pouring too much attention towards our partners. If some of you are doing this, notice if your partner is "suffocating" a little bit or not. If he/she is "suffocating", then you might have been producing too much Attention for him/her. The price of your attention has gone down. He/she doesn't have to do much effort to get attention from you. You definitely need to stop the "suffocation" immediately before your actions will cause him/her to start losing the attraction that your partner once had towards you before..

Leaning back, taking your own time and doing your own stuff will really help. This projects security and confidence (which are really attractive to just about anyone). Plus, by paying less attention (or giving just the right amount of it) towards your partner, it will give the other person the chance to think about you and miss you when you're not around. This really makes the relationship healthy because both people will have to put at least some effort to get each other's attention (there is BALANCE)..

But how can we know how much is TOO much of attention? Well, I should say that any amount of attention would be good, as long as we're not at the level of being clingy and needy.. Why? Because being clingy and needy indirectly projects insecurity..

So, if your partner seems to be suffocated by you clinging around all the time, then you probably want to give him/her some space to breathe by starting to do your own stuff. If there's no third person in the picture, then it is definitely not their fault that they now feel less interested to talk to you. Most probably you were the one to be blamed.

Now, I'm sure there are also other factors that comes into play when we talk about relationships and love, but what I'm trying to explain here is just the connection between Attention and Attraction.. Plus, this law might not be applicable to married couples due to the change in the relationship's dynamics..

To wrap up, I'd like to rephrase this theory into one line:

"In a pre-marital relationship, given that everything else is constant, if Partner X's projected Attention increases to the level of "clinginess"/"suffocation", Partner Y (the receiver) will start to feel less of Attraction towards Partner X.."

Now, do you agree with this theory? Or you have another way of explaining it? What's your personal opinion? I sure would appreciate to hear from you..

Til my next post, Cheers..

Malaysian's Young Professionals Speak on the Economy

2008-01-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

This is a very interesting 7-question short survey on Malaysian economy and it is done by the Young Professionals Chamber Malaysia (PROMUDA). Therefore, credits should be given to them. The survey was first started on new year, and after 12 days, approximately 400 young, professional Malaysians including students local and abroad have participated in taking the survey.

If you do not know economics that well, you can just read through this post and still understand most of the questions because they're kind of understandable from a layman's view. And if you do care about Malaysian economy, take the survey now before you continue reading this post because I'm afraid your judgments will be skewed after reading this post, thus affecting your responses. You can take the survey by clicking the link below:

PROMUDA Survey on the Economy

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Here are the results of the survey as of January 12, 2008:

Question 1

In view of globalization, do you feel Malaysia is getting more or less competitive as a nation?

Answer	Responses	Percent
Less competitive	312	78.00%
More competitive	78	19.50%
I don't know	10	2.50%

Question 2

Do you think Malaysia is on track to achieve a developed nation status by the year 2020?

Answer	Responses	Percent
No	298	74.50%
Yes	73	18.30%
I don't know	29	7.30%

Question 3

What is your perception of the state of Malaysia's economy?

Answer	Responses	Percent
The economy is stagnant	249	63.50%
The economy is in a recession	74	18.90%
The economy is doing well	57	14.50%
I don't know	12	3.10%

Question 4

Please estimate the increase in price level of basic commodities you have experienced in Malaysia over the last 3 to 4 years.

Answer	Responses	Percent
20% - 50%	206	52.80%
50% - 100%	119	30.50%
Less than 20%	32	8.20%
I don't know	17	4.40%
More than 100%	16	4.10%

Question 5

How do you view the level of graduate unemployment problem in Malaysia following MIER's statement below?

"The Malaysian Institute of Economic Research (MIER) said the country is now experiencing “jobless growth” where the economy grew at 5.9% in the last five to six years, but few jobs were created."

Answer	Responses	Percent
The problem is getting worse	259	66.60%
The problem is the same as before	94	24.20%
I don't know	26	6.70%
There is no such problem	10	2.60%

Question 6

How do you view affirmative action policies such as NEP?

Answer	Responses	Percent
Skewed implementation and subjected to abuse, thus policy should be reformed	304	79.40%
Effective implementation benefitting target groups, thus policy should be maintained in its present form	43	11.20%
I don't know	36	9.40%

Question 7

Please choose the best 3 options below which you think can help the nation to be more competitive in the future.

Answer	Responses	Percent
Have more quality leadership	320	84.20%
Ensure effective implementation of policies	284	74.70%
Reverse the 'brain drain'	235	61.80%
Encourage more foreign direct investments	104	27.40%
Encourage more transfer of technology from abroad	93	24.50%
Hire more skilled foreign workers	7	1.80%
Other	1	0.30%

Look at the results and make your own conclusions.

I personally feel that either something is really wrong in the country, or the validity of these responses is questionable. But if something is wrong in the economy, some changes need to be done by the administration. I myself do not know much of the statistics, so I can't say that Malaysian economy is in a bad shape.

Now, what do YOU personally think? Feel free to share your comments below. I'd be glad to hear what's on your mind, because every opinion matters...

Source: PROMUDA State of the Nation 2008 Survey - Part 1: On the Economy

Things Malaysians Might Wanna Know

2008-01-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on December 6, 2007.

I've only been in the United States for two years and a couple of months. To say that I know a lot about this country, I really don't. But no doubt I did learn a few things since I first came here in August 2005. So I just thought I need to share some things that Malaysians might be interested to know about the United States.

#1 Not everyone dress up or behave like what we see in Hollywood movies

Well, this country still have a lot of normal people like us, and they dress NORMALLY. I've seen people in Malaysia that are "dressed to kill" and some maybe even inappropriately dress up too much that it exceeds what I normally see here. Yes, I know that we all have individual freedom, individual rights, bla bla bla.. But you know, wearing a thick jacket under the hot Malaysian sun is probably~ not really a good idea..

#2 Not everyone know and talk about Malaysia

Thanks to the government, our media has really brainwashed us to believe that the world revolves around Malaysia. We're taught this way even since we were potty training. No, not everyone know Malaysia, my friend. Please quit thinking that people REALLY care about what we do in Malaysia, like all the time. They just don't.. To them, Malaysia is just another country (in Asia, or if they're pretty good in Geography, in South-East Asia). Plus, they have a lot more important things to think about than to care about what's happening in Malaysia..

#3 People hold the door open for the person walking behind them when entering a building (if that person is not too far away, of course)

And the person walking behind will usually say "Thank you" for that person holding the door. This is just one way people are being curteous towards others. Well, you don't wanna do this if it is automatic door..

#4 Cars stop for pedestrians to cross the road

Well, this one was quite a culture shock to me when I first got here. But they only do this on small, not-so-busy country roads, of course. Cars don't stop in the middle of highways. Malaysians in Malaysia might wanna try this. But don't be surprised if the pedestrian freaks out because he/she might think that you're just getting ready to run over them as soon as they walk in front of your car.

#5 They're not superior to us. They just THINK that they are

Yes. A lot of us might have inferiority complex when seeing a white person. But you don't really have to. Like I said, they just THINK that they are better than the others, so they act like one (and they usually perform like one, too). If we can also THINK and see ourselves as just as good as them (or even better), then we WILL also be just like how we see ourselves as. It's all in the mentality..

#6 You will appreciate "maple"s (or the mamak restaurants) so so much once you're here

Since I'm not a nighclub person, the nights are not so entertaining here. I just miss "maple"s so much. I don't even have to go over the details about the football (or soccer?) matches we watch on those big screens and the lively crowd that stays til 2-3 a.m. I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about.

The small town that I live in here will literally "die" after 9 p.m. No kidding. It's no fun. The only closest thing to maple should be this 24-hours restaurant called Denny's. But it really is not like maple at all. The place is too neat and you'd usually have to spend around $12.00 after tax and tip. So expensive. So please, appreciate what we have in Malaysia..

*****************************************

Well, that might be it. Some of the cultures here are good and I personally think that we should learn these things from them. But of course, we don't follow whatever that's bad.

But overall, probably the most important thing that I got from here is that I learned to appreciate more of what we have in Malaysia (except for the political scene, corruption, and crazy drivers). We might think that they have a better place to live than us. Yes, it might be for them, but definitely not for us. We are Malaysians, and Malaysia is where we live..

It's just like how they say it - "There's no place like home"...

10 Reasons Why My Mom Is The Best Mom In The World

2008-01-08T17:54:00.001-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on October 16, 2007.

This morning I got a parcel of kuih raya so I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my mom by writing this..

Alright. Let's keep this short. Here's ten reasons why I vote my mom as the best mom in the world:

1) She loves me like how a great mom would..
2) She's been a good friend of mine, telling me some things nobody would say..
3) She's a gorgeous amoi so I believe she's 'installed' pretty useful chinese genes in the family..
4) She runs a small business and it's taken good care the whole 7 children of hers for a good 17 years..
5) She's been thru hardship in a lot of years before this to take care of us and still got thru it all..
6) She's taught me profound ways and realities of life... Like when I was around nine, I got fresh cili padi shoved in my mouth when she overheard me saying the word ba**.. (and so I learned a lesson)
7) She's been the reason I travel halfway around the globe to go home - 2 years in a row now (and counting)..
8) She got my dad (a.k.a the Sri Menanti Chick Magnet) as husband..
9) She sometimes act inappropriately too-cute for a 50-year-old..

And the last reason and the most important reason why I vote my mom as the best mom in the world, is...

10) Simply, because she's my mom...

Well, I'm sure in your case, your mom would be the best in the world to you - even if you don't have any reasons why you would think so.. in fact, I just think all of us should make our moms the best, because they simply deserve to be the best for all of us, don't they? (yes, even if she's britney spears or a yakuza head or something)...

And to that special lady - I love you mom, and I will always do.. ;)

That Last Day of Ramadhan

2008-01-08T17:53:00.001-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on October 12, 2007.

I have NEVER - in my whole life - felt this way, but when this year's Ramadhan ended yesterday, somehow I had this feeling that I wasn't actually ready for it..

Well, I admit it that I'm definitely not the most religious, but when Ramadhan ended yesterday, for the first time I was actually wondering if I'm gonna have the chance to meet next year's Ramadhan (especially the terawih prayers - even though I missed half of them this year ;P ) Later last night, for some reason I felt like a sense of warmth and calmness wrapping me thru the night.

Perhaps it's because I'm halfway-around-the-world far from home and the calmness is actually sadness? Or is it because since I got a bit older, some things now seem to make sense to me? Well, who knows..

Whatever it is, I'm glad I got thru this year's Ramadhan, and I look forward to having another one a year from now..

And before I forget, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish Happy Eid to all of you who's reading this.. I apologize for anything I've done that could've hurt anyone's feelings in the past... I'm not perfect, and yes, being a human, I don't know everything and I do make mistakes..

Til my next post, have a good Hari Raya, guys... Assalamualaikum :)

Twenty-four

2008-01-08T17:50:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on August 31, 2007.

*This post is dedicated to someone special to me

It took me seven point six
To get a ten
Well, a ten to me at least...

And for a solid ten
I had to give a hundred
For a ten will always be a ten...

And it was true
I was right from the beginning...

So seven witnessed it all
From the other side of the world
To the other side of that big road
Seven witnessed it all...

Seven plus twenty-four equals thirty-one
Eight is gone so another twenty-three to go...

Patience is key
So just bare with time
For when zero comes
We will have another great twenty-four... ;o*

Hadapi Dengan Senyuman

2008-01-08T17:49:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on August 25, 2007.

I previously wrote about the importance of differentiating what we can actually control from what we can't whenever we're tested with difficult situations. Well, an Indonesian band got it figured right on the bullseye. Read the lyrics below and if you have the song in your computer, try listening to it carefully this time.

Artist: Dewa
Song: Hadapi Dengan Senyuman

Hadapi dengan senyuman
Semua yang terjadi, biar terjadi
Hadapi dengan tenang jiwa
Semua kan baik baik saja

Bila ketetapan Tuhan sudah ditetapkan
Tetaplah sudah
Tak ada yang bisa merubah
Dan takkan bisa berubah

Relakan saja ini
Bahwa (Bahawa) semua yang terbaik
Terbaik untuk kita semua
Menyerahlah untuk menang

The lyrics is really simple but it holds truly important messages regarding life realities. And I really like this song for a few other reasons:

It tells us to face difficult situations (hadapi)
On top of that, it also reminds us to face those difficult situations POSITIVELY and CALMLY (dengan senyuman, dengan tenang jiwa)
It helps us assure ourselves that everything's gonna be just fine (semua kan baik-baik saja)
The song says that some things just purely CAN'T be changed and can't be controlled no matter what (tak ada yang bisa merubah, dan takkan bisa berubah)
It teaches us to accept fate (relakanlah saja ini, bahwa semua yang terbaik)
It introduces the concept of "giving in to win" (menyerahlah untuk menang)

So, props to Dewa for doing a great job. To my friends out there, I strongly recommend you listen to this song whenever you face hardships or whenever you're feeling down - because it helps. Well, I don't know if it'll help you guys, but at least it's helped me before that's for sure ;)

Becoming More of Yourself

2008-01-08T17:48:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on May 29, 2007.

We often talk about how we should just be ourselves. This is true, but of course it is easier said than done. Well, maybe we should ask this - how does one become more of his/herself?

I believe that it has a really strong relationship with our confidence level.

Theory: There's a linear relationship between confidence level and the ability to show one's true self - i.e. Higher confidence level helps project more of one's true self.

This theory could be true, but it might be wrong too. However, based on every observations and analyses that I've done (especially when I'm taking a bath, that is), this should be a pretty solid argument.

Confidence is not about being better than the others. It is just all about being more comfortable of ourselves. It is about behaving like your true self and being honest towards yourself. Being confident could also be described as having most of our insecurities thrown away until almost none is left. In other words, the pursuit of confidence is actually a race of getting rid all of our insecurities..

One simple example of being comfortable of one's true self is by admitting his/her own imperfections. Say "I don't know about this... and I don't know about that, too.. Please show me how" (and they're okay with it). Rather than not knowing something and pretend to know just about everything, mature confident people tend to admit their own imperfections without having any inferiorities..

Another example could also be a boyfriend/girlfriend who's hanging out with his/her friends. If he/she's good enough, he/she'd be able to talk on the phone with his/her significant other without any feelings of discomfort. This is because he/she has enough confidence to give permission to his/her own self to show his/her lover-behavior in front of his/her friends. Otherwise, one would feel insecure to talk-lovey-dovey in front of his/her friends, thinking that his/her friends would tease him/her aferwards for acting so differently..

When we have truly gotten rid all of our insecurities, that's when we'll feel the confidence coming. We'd feel comfortable with everything that we do. We'd feel okay to not know something, and to not be good at everything. It's also important to know that it's okay to do things our own way. There's definitely no need to follow everyone else. We are who we are, and being yourself, is in fact, the key to all success in most parts of our everyday lives, especially social matters...

Better Keep That Passport

2008-01-08T17:47:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on May 11, 2007.

I am less than three weeks away from going home, and yesterday I just found out that I couldn't find where my passport is. To my horror, I have misplaced that very important document. I tried to search for it in my room and I got to a point where it's confirmed that it's not there..

Sh*t..

The US refers outsiders coming into the country as "aliens". Without my passport, I guess I am now the most defined and true alien of all time. No doubt..

All these thoughts came to my mind. Having to contact the embassy, the sponsor's representative in D.C, MSD in L.A, International Office, and all of the other administrative people to help me get the right documentation to AT LEAST help me get out of the US.. If not, I'd be spending my 3 months of summer here - and that'd be more horrifying than death itself (well, at least that's how I felt during that time).. And even if I get to go home, it'd be such a hassle to go to the hardest-to-get-in American Embassy to make a new passport, plus lose some more money to pay another $100 for the hardest-to-get US-J1-Visa..

Since the passport is gone, I planned to search for it at school, but I had no idea where to go first, and I don't even know why I should start there. I couldn't remember what I was doing with the passport after I took it out to school for an errand last week..

Damn...

But well, lucky I was..

Later that night, I found the passport sitting in one of my friend's house after I almost started to faint due to some breathing difficulties (only an exaggeration)..

Alhamdulillah..

Well, I still can't remember why it's there, but the important thing is, it's there.. Actually, I wasn't even searching for it when I went there..

I guess it's true that when you're not really trying to search for something, that's when you'll find it..

So, my fellow friends (ESPECIALLY the ones that are outside of Malaysia), please reset your mind to know enough that your passports are such valuable (and irreplacable) assets, that if you lose them, only God knows how true of an alien you would become..

Til my next post, have a good summer everyone..

What's Your Self-Value?

2008-01-08T17:46:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on May 8, 2007.

How high do you see yourself as?

Are you a valuable asset towards the others?

Are they lucky to have you? Or are you lucky to have them?

These are the questions in which I never got an exact answer up until now...

Whenever we value ourselves as being high and good, we'd serve the others with the best things possible. Because we're very good people who treats everyone right, giving the 'best service' all the time, sometimes we tend to expect the best treatments coming from the others towards us too. Whenever their treatment doesn't match ours, we'd become frustrated and the it seems illogical when you think of why should these other people do such things to you. Thus, the issue of "since-I-did-it-for-you, why-can't-you-do-the-same-thing-for-me-too?" arises... or, another version could also be called "since-i-didn't-do-it-to-you, why-should-you-do-it-to-me?"

But if we value ourselves as being too low, we tend to do things without our willingness. Since we're at a lower level than the other person, then they deserve everything from us. Being at the lower level also makes it impossible for us to expect anything fair from the other party. We'd end up being mistreated and abused. Being low means lack of confidence as well...

Which one should we go for? A higher self-value but always end up unsatisfied with treatments coming from others, or a lower self-value and end up being mistreated?

Perhaps, a higher self-value is a better option, but when we think that we're too good for others, we also tend to think that we never make any mistakes.. We'd never think or expect that we would do any mistake since we've done our best to satisfy everyone around us.. Things become bad when we don't see our own mistakes and blame others every single time.. "We're good people and we're on the right side, so why should we be wrong?".. Yes, but think again, bad things won't happen when only one side is guilty.. Most of the time, more than one side is guilty.. Just be ready to admit your own faults..

I have been very childish and I did so many mistakes to think that I'm always on the right side since I always expect the best out of myself to keep treating others good and right every single time.. I ended up thinking that I'll do no wrong since I've always been "the good guy who'll try his best" all the time.. When things go wrong, I kept hanging on to my favorite line of "I already did my best, what else can I do now?".. Sometimes that line seems valid to me but I know that there should always be another side of the truth..

Even now, when some conflicts occur or bad things happen, I still think that it's confusing in terms of which side should I stand on - Defend myself and everything that I've done to make things right, or just claim responsibility every single time without saying anything else?

The Ultimate Approval

2008-01-08T17:44:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on May 2, 2007.

I believe that our lives are surrounded by approval-related matters - ALL the time. People seek approval from others even if it requires them to do stupid things. When we're not given the approvals that we think we deserve, we'll try harder.

It's so bad we even seek approval beyond our knowledge. For example, did you know that laughs could represent an approval-giving action, too? (Besides a reaction to something that's funny) Let's say your boss says something that is really really stupid (and lame), but he/she thinks that it's funny, you'll laugh when you see him/her laugh.. Without knowing it, you just gave him/her the approval of yes-sir/ma'am-you-were-right-and-that-sure-was-funny..

When our closest friends say that they like/do something (and it's not cool TO NOT like/do it) , we might still end up "liking" that something in order to get the group's approval even when we're not willing to do it.. Well, high school teenagers smoking has a lot to do with this, of course..

It get's worse if we think about how we're willing to hold huge and massive "Kenduri Kahwin"s and spend so much just to make sure that we're on par with everybody else's wedding party we attended since the past couple of months.. And the dowry payments, could be described as "taknak kalah" and on the bride's family side, there's this idea of "if we ask for a dowry too low, i'm afraid other people would think that my girl is 'cheap'... so let's ask RM15,000"... so there goes that poor dude's money just avoid other people talking behind our backs eventhough the religion forbids people from overspending, and supports "kesederhanaan"... Yes, you and me know this, but most of us (including me) might still end up doing it when the time comes...

God please help us dudes...

Okay, reality check...

Now, let's think about this in a deeper level, whose approval do we actually need the most?

Isn't the ultimate approval is the one that's from God? Aren't we supposed to please Him, instead of other people surrounding us?

It might be acceptable when the things that we do (to please other people) don't conflict with God's words but what happens when it does? Isn't it awful to think that the things that we do sometimes leave us not approved by God, just to get some little tiny bits of approvals from our friends?

Whose approval really matters, anyway?

Bad Boy Attraction

2008-01-08T17:43:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on April 29, 2007.

For this post, I'd like to give the props to David Deangelo for the basic idea from his theory of "Attraction Is Not a Choice"

Why do bad boys attract girls? Some of these guys don't LOOK attractive at all. They could be hideous, monstrous, short, skinny, scary-looking, double-amputated, anything, you just name it.. but they get the most gorgeous girls in town.. Isn't that amazing...

Perhaps it has something to do with confidence and approval...

Bod boys do things their own way, and they're confident.. They don't really care about what the girl thinks about them, and they often disapprove the fact that if-she's-beautiful-then-she-must-be-perfect.. They even pay lack attention to these girls..

While all of the "good guys" flock around these attractive girls trying to kiss up by giving endless compliments, dinners and gifts, bad boys rarely do so.. They turn the tables around by making the girls seek their attention and now the girls are the ones who are seeking approval from the bad boys..

Since they have the "attraction mechanism" that works this way, thus they have more power to choose (and usually get) any girl that they desire.. But with the power that they possess, some of them turns out to be abusive, as in, abusing the "power" that they have.. They go to the farthest distance in even ditching the most beautiful girls you could ever imagine..

But even after some girls have read this post, I'm sure they will still fall for the bad boys.. Why? Because they're much more fun to hang out with than the good guys!! Why again? Because good guys only know how to say "Yes my lady.." or a much much more smoother pickup line by saying "I hope you're happy with what I've done so far. Is there anything else that I can do to please you?"..

So girls, just beware of the ABUSIVE bad boys, i.e. the crooks.. And guys, if you're one of the bad boys, just remember, "With great power, comes a great responsibility"...

p/s: Do "responsible" bad boys exist? Of course... OR, Can good-looking guys be bad boys too? Sure, why not?...

Justifiable Jealousy

2008-01-08T17:42:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on April 27, 2007.

I was discussing this with a friend and we agreed upon something that's kind of profound to me.. I think it's kind of interesting so I'll try to explain our opinion.. and here's what me and my friend believe is true..

WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER OUR HEARTS... THE HEART IS COMPLICATED...

Yes... Basically, I'm pretty sure that we never know EXACTLY how we feel.. there's a famous song called "More than words", talking about how feelings is undescribable.. we also can't control what we like.. A pickup-artist, Deangelo describes it as "Attraction is not a choice".. Basically, he says that when you're attracted to someone, there's nothing that you can do about it... (and of course, when someone else likes you, he/she can do nothing about it too..)

No, you don't choose to like someone, even when you think you actually made a decision and even when you can list the reasons why you like them... You just like someone because you're attracted to him/her.. For example, if a guy sees a hot blonde walking by, he doesn't go "Okay, this girl is 5 foot 6 inches, blonde, blue eyes, thin, and her skin is fair.. I think I'm gonna start liking her now".. NoOo, it doesn't work that way... He's already attracted to her within a fraction of a second..

For this reason, I'd say that some types of jealousy is justified, and thus, reasonable.. But HOW? In a relationship, if the guy/girl talks about how he/she doesn't like his/her significant other going out with someone else (usually these people call themselves "just friends"), there is a chance that it is not a TRUST issue.. It is not him/her not trusting the other party.. But instead, it's an act of not trusting what the HEART would feel.. and that, I think, is definitely reasonable..

When a boyfriend says to his girlfriend "You know, I think it's better if you could avoid going out alone with another guy even if he's just a friend of yours.." , there's a high probability that it might cause a chaos since the girl might feel that the guy is not trusting her (and trying to be controlling).. and so she yells "He just wants to be a friend laaaa..." ... But, you see, if the girl understands the fact that if she spends too much time talking to another guy, it ACTUALLY could cost her boyfriend a relationship..

Basically, I do believe that when we spend too much time with another person, we'll form so much new 'connections' with that person.. as time passes by, we'd slowly feel more 'connected' to them.. by the time when there's just overwhelmingly too much connection forming, mr. love uninvitedly comes by knocking the door.. without even knowing it, we now like this new person, and now there's nothing that we can do about it... if you're skeptical, think about the Malay proverb "Tak kenal maka tak cinta"...

But, don't get overjealous, either.. it's not a good thing to practice overjealousy... Some NORMAL jealousies are justifiable but this one is not.. It is purely based on insecurities and it is unhealthy for the relationship.. (as in, now it has NOT-TRUSTING-HIM/HER issues involved in it)... If there's no trust, things won't work.. So, I suggest not to get jealous 73 times a day since that's not good too..

Now, what's left not to trust? The only good thing I could think of is NOT TO TRUST our naive hearts... The heart will only feel something based upon our actions.. Therefore, since we can control our actions, it's best if we could avoid being TOO CLOSE to another person from the opposite gender while being in a relationship (well, only if you'd like to take good care of it, of course)...

Now, if you think about it, doesn't it make sense when doctors say, "Prevention is better than cure?" :)

The Sunday Theory

2008-01-08T17:39:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on April 1, 2007.

Every Sunday, an emotional stir would come to me and make me feel like sleeping all day.. Thanks to the genius idea of sleeping all day, it just makes me feel worse..

I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel this almost every Sunday (daytime only - amazingly, it dissipates at night).. Some might also describe it as the feeling of having to get back to that boarding school (or college, or workplace) after a weekend spent at home.. If you have been feeling this, just read on.. I have indirectly carried out an in-depth study about why this is happening, and I think I kind of identified a few reasonable reasons.. (Yeah I know I think a lot - You'd be amazed at how I could turn into a nerd sometimes..)

First, is the theory of "Monday blues comes a day earlier". As we all know, "Monday blues" is a normal psychological instability that occurs to most of us. But to me, I'm specially "gifted" to feel "Monday blues" a day earlier.. I can't help it but to think that since Monday comes after Sunday, then Sundays suck too.. ;P Sorry, Mr. Sunday..

Second, is the theory of "My happiness level on Sundays are proportional to that of my productivity level during that particular weekend". Well, this is easy to be understood. If I got more assignments done on Fridays and Saturdays, then I'd feel better on Sundays. More work done means a higher level of happiness.. LOL

Third, is the theory of "Because everything is due on Mondays and Tuesdays, then that makes the whole Monday-blues syndrome sucks even more". Well, I don't need to explain further on this - the name explains it all..

Okay........... now I'm out of theories, and I don't know what else to blame..........

Hmmm, I think I'm done..........

......

Haha.. Well, you know what, I'm starting to think that ultimately I just have to blame myself for letting things get to me... Isn't that simple?

Yeah, what the heck was I thinking.. That was a waste of time... but hey, at least I'm glad I wrote this because I feel better now... LOL ;P

Oh, well.. Thanks for bearing with me.. Til my next post, have a good week guys.. Ciao!!

A Car & A Girlfriend

2008-01-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on March 26, 2007.

Owning a car is equivalent to having a girlfriend. Well, that's what I think...

Cars need to be maintained. Girlfriends need to be maintained too. Some girlfriends cost you higher maintenance "costs" than the others, but on average, maintenance is a must..

Cars need regular checks. Engine oil, steering fluid, windshield liquid, coolant, etc. etc. Same goes for girlfriends. Regular checks and consistent attention is a requirement..

If you don't regularly check your car, it'll break down before you know it. Well, when cars break down, it costs you a whole lot of time and money to fix it. Same goes to "fixing" your girl's heart. LOL. If you give no proper attention, they'll "break down". Time goes to the numerous hours of talking on the phone trying to stop them from sulking, and money goes to the bill that comes at the end of the month (or the prepaid cards you pay every 2 days)..

It might sound that all you get from both a car and a girlfriend is nothing but trouble and headaches. Well, that's not really the case actually. Both should give you the peace of mind, and a sense of stability..

So, does that mean a girlfriend is worth no more than a car? No. In fact, here are some big time differences:

if you have a girlfriend, it helps you tell others that you're not gay..
when you kneel down and propose for marriage to your car, they'll never say yes no matter what you do..
when you cry, you car will just ignore you..
your car won't think your crappy jokes are funny..
girlfriends don't need gasoline to function..
when you hug your car, they don't hug you back...
you definitely can't make love to or make out with you car..
if you own a car and have no girlfriend, you still can't change your Friendster status from "Single" to "In a relationship"...

So, considering these differences, ultimately, I think a girlfriend should definitely worth more than a car... LOL ;P That was fun...

Is Spring a Special Season?

2008-01-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on March 13, 2007.

I once heard an American proverb that says:

"In the spring, a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love".

Now that it is almost spring time, I suddenly recalled this very proverb. So, I'm just curious to ask if this is true - that love often occurs around this time of year - when these young men's imagination is starting to change to romantic thoughts..

Or don't you think that love could occur at just about any time of the year? That it does not depend on time. Winter, summer and fall sounds like good seasons to start a relationship too, aren't they? Can't we just replace the word "spring" in the proverb to all these other seasons? As if love only happens in March and April? Why did they pick spring when the proverb was created, then?

(You know what, I'm starting to think that this proverb must be created by some dude who just fell in love with a cute girl in one of those ancient spring times - so that's why...)

Hmm, so, now, what do YOU think? Feel free to leave your comments on this one, alright.. It'll be much appreciated ;) Thanks!

Are You Missing Someone?

2008-01-08T17:35:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on March 11, 2007.

Ask yourself this - are you missing someone?

If yes, smile now - because having the feeling of missing someone is actually a gift from him/her to you. Even you have the power to give the same kind of 'gift' to him/her. And that is called "the gift of missing you"...

It might sound like a snappy comeback, but if your significant other is asking "why didn't you call me?", you could just say "hey, i was just giving you the gift of missing me" :P

When you always talk, things might get boring. Someone might feel 'suffocated'. So, take a break. No, not for a month (if you want him/her to dump you, yep, stop talking for this long). Take one day, or two days off. And enjoy the feeling of missing him/her...

It's true, I admit that I'm no love doctor, and yes I'm not currently in any relationship (still, this doesn't mean I can't miss someone), but trust me, this concept is healthy for any relationship. When you start talking to him/her again, tell them you missed them (and mean it). There's a higher chance that you two will get closer this way compared to non-stop phone calls 24/7 or boring daily dates until time with your special someone is no longer appreciated as it has become so abundant and easy to get (this is also why economists agree that almost all rare items are valued at higher prices)...

So, again. Are you missing someone? Don't feel bad, 'cos hey, it's a gift!!! ;)

When All You Have Is You

2008-01-08T17:34:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on March 2, 2007.

I've been pretty much offline for almost two weeks now. My laptop got sick - the LCD screen went dark for some reason. I did some research, called the repair guy and he said it'll cost me $120 just for the service, not including the brand-new $200 Widescreen Dell LCD screen. Whoa - I thought to myself, "Man, you're officially broke again."

While doing further research regarding the problem, I read online manuals on how to take my laptop screen lid apart but I wasn't sure if I should give it a try. I can still remember being a computer geek in the past but that was like lightyears ago. I've stopped paying attention to computers (Maybe because I'm starting to pay more attention to girls now).. Being a poor, low-income college student, I really had no other choice. With no experience in laptop repair skills, I was determined to trust myself for the sake of saving $120 (I figured I could use those for souvenirs for this June's trip home). And so there I was - I had nothing else but only myself to help me get thru the problem.

Courageously, with my bidan terjun "skills", I changed the FL Inverter (costed me $51) myself. Unfortunately, the first 'operation' didn't solve the problem - reason: replaced the wrong 'organ'. But I didn't have to pay $120. And the good thing was this - I learned a new skill; a skill that's worth $120. Even better, I now know how to even replace the keyboard myself should there be any problems in the future.

Since the FL Inverter killed my hopes, I had to finally replace the whole LCD screen set. I got one from Ebay. Costed me $175, and it arrived yesterday. I replaced the 'organ' right away. Thank God, that was the right organ my computer needed. Saved another $120 on the second repair service. So, in total, I think I just saved $240. Yeay!!!

So, from this event, I learned that there will be times when the going gets tough, no matter what the problem is, all you actually have is yourself and no one else. We just have to have faith in ourselves and just go for it. Eventhough we could fail along the way, I'm sure we'll get something out of it.

And Mr Dell Inspiron 8600 is now healthy as before. Hopefully it'll stay healthy until I graduate.... Whatever it is, I'm one happy young man now. Yeay!!! :D

Mix Some Imperfections in Your Relationships

2008-01-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Feb 13, 2007.

"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections"

Someone dear to me gave me the two lines above, and I think it conveys a lot of important life-tips. First, it tells you that nothing would ever be perfect. Second, it also tells you that if you decide to see beyond the existing imperfections, things will get better such that you'll gain happiness.

In addition to that, there's also an American proverb which sounds something like "You LIKE someone BECAUSE... You LOVE someone ALTHOUGH..."

This is one perfect example showing that if we only see what's good in a person, we'll only LIKE them - but if we are ready to accept one's imperfections (ALTHOUGH they are this, and that...), we will then, start LOVING them..

I personally think that when two individuals tolerate each other's imperfections, they actually will communicate in a more "human" level, where you see the other person's true self inside of them. You'll also love them as a more genuine and real person. This type of acceptance is so powerful that it'll actually make relationships stronger and last longer.

By the way, these imperfections will always exist anywhere. Thus, instead of trying to avoid them, I think it's much better for us to just live with them, don't you think so?

So, if you find yourself out there complaining a lot about your significant other, maybe it's time for you to slowly start accepting his/her imperfections. By the way, I personally think that nothing will ever be perfect (Except for God).

Plus, just realize it that none of us are anywhere near perfect, either. So, we need to start expecting some imperfections in others, so that the world will be a happier place for all of us to live in ;)

I'm Feeling Lucky

2008-01-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Feb 11, 2007.

I was with my friend the other day on the streets of Denver, when we saw a homeless guy holding a sign he was holding up on his chest with "NEED MONEY FOR HOME" written on it. He stood there at the traffic light on the corner of the street helplessly waiting for someone to give help. Well, as expected, almost no one did (I didn't help him either)..

I've seen these a few times already, but that was the first time I wanted to really ask myself "How would it feel like to be one of those guys, asking for money on the streets?" I know the usual answer will sound something like "Oh, of course it's gonna be hard, bla bla bla..." but if we think about it carefully, if we LITERALLY have no home to go to tonight - where would we sleep? How are we gonna take care of our tummies when they growl and say hi? Isn't that just awful?

Basically, all of these lead me to a better understanding that I've been so lucky myself over the course of my life, and I should really thank God for everything that I have - A lovely Mom, a great Dad, caring siblings, stable & loving family with a decent source of income, weird friends who are neverendingly fun & surprisingly supportive, dedicated teachers, a scholarship to study abroad (this is a big one), and a healthy, non-handicapped body.. etc. etc.

It doesn't matter what our backgrounds are - rich or poor, black, chinese, malay, indian or african - the list will definitely go on and on with little chance of stopping.

Last of all (and of course it's not the very least thing to thank for), I should thank God for having born Muslim.. Alhamdulillah..

Ultimately, I just think that just about all of us need to stop and think for a moment what God has given us so far, because don't you think it's true that almost all of us tend to forget to appreciate Him during most of the time?

You Get Nothing When You're Looking for Too Much

2008-01-08T17:29:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Feb 2, 2007.

The title says it all. Super-high expectations get us nowhere. When we do something with the intention of getting something out of it, we'll rarely get it - or even if we get some, it'll virtually NEVER be enough.

We often ask "What can I get?." How about stopping that? Now, let's start asking, "What can I give?," instead. When we look for something in everything, we'll never get enough. Yes, I assure you. NEVER.

On the other hand, asking "What can I give?" gives you so much satisfaction. You'll see the world from the lens of abundance rather than scarcity.

I have always done a lot of things because I expected to get a person to give me something else back in return, but later got frustrated when I end up not getting what I thought I should get. This is bad. After a while, I learned that until I can start giving away everything, then only I'll feel better about the world around me.

Give thanks and appreciation. Give smile. Give time. Give love. Give knowledge. Give money. Give attention. It really doesn't matter what others will give us back. So, just stop looking for what you can get, because IRONICALLY, that's when you'll start getting so much more than you could handle (Islam says you'll get tenfold). Yes, sounds like it doesn't make any sense - but that's just how it works.

Now, life is not as simple as how this post goes. This concept is, in fact, a hard one and none of us can do this in a day. Human beings aren't perfect, but we sure can be excellent. I myself am still struggling to apply this whenever I could remind myself to do so.

Growing up isn't easy - we're always gonna be in the process of maturing until we're on our deathbeds. So, just take your time, follow your own pace, and the leverage that you'll get will be priceless... =)

Life is Unfair, and That's Great News

2008-01-08T17:28:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Jan 25, 2007.

To me, the key to success is to JUST GET LUCKY. It's true that the world is so-called "unfair", but that's just the way it works, don't you think?

It'll never change, and for heaven's sake, don't wait for things around us to change. We'll be waiting a very a long time. How about changing ourselves, instead?

When we didn't succeed in something, that means we're just unlucky that time. So, give it another try next time, and again, and again, and again, until we GET LUCKY. The magic three words - Keep moving on no matter what.

If we went to five job interviews, the reason we got rejected the first four times is not because we suck, but we were just unlucky. Prepare better for next time, find our luck, and I know we'll eventually find it.

If there is a group of people, some will get more luck than the others. Why? Maybe they work harder, maybe they're more prepared, or have better personalities. It's just the way mother nature works. Someone has got to be better than the others. And that someone has GOT to be US!

So, if we're not being so lucky, just stop complaining and start working on ourselves. It might take a while but it's definitely worth it. Put our best foot forward, be on the top and we'll get more luck. This way, it's still true that the world is unfair, but this time we'll get the better end of the deal..

Now, Go Get Lucky, and for that, Good Luck! =)

Positive Energies, Anyone?

2008-01-08T17:26:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Jan 18, 2007.

Me and another twenty Malaysian dudes (approximately, lah) were playing soccer just now and I must say that it went GREAT..

There was this positive energy coming from somewhere and all of us were kinda sharing it together.. Everyone felt like laughing almost all the time and the game was enjoyable. We might make mistakes by missing the ball, whatsoever but what the heck, it won't matter - we'll just laugh it off..

Unlike SOME of the previous games (especially on previous semesters), some people will get so serious and they radiate this kind of very negative energy and it affects almost everybody else's mood..

Honestly, it sucks big time and once in a while somebody will get angry because of such silly, trivial things.. and, the game won't be enjoyable anymore..

I mean, come on guys - don't be the negative ones. It affects others too and it's no fun. Evening games aren't like competitions.. Just please don't get too serious.. Be the positive one and radiate that kind of energy so others will feel it too.. Or if you can't do that, AT LEAST just be neutral..

If you don't feel like playing, then just don't.. Go to the bathroom, smile, take a walk, or take some air for a minute and come back when you feel better (At least that's what I would do when I'm not feeling so good)..

I think almost all of us can identify with these negative-energy radiating people. You'd feel like something is wrong and you just don't feel so comfortable spending time beside them..

On the other hand, just look at all the positive people you know (or it might actually be you!), notice how others will flock around them because they're fun!

So, now, we have to ask ourselves - Which type of energy do we usually radiate? Positive or negative?

If you ask me, I'd say it better be the former.. Because it's gonna help both ourselves and the people around us..

Til my next post, have a great weekend guys! Ciao!

The Power of a Smile

2008-01-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Jan 16, 2007.

Now.. Try to smile, and notice any difference you feel going on inside your body.

You should at least feel that the smile has lighten up your mood a bit. In fact, even a fake smile will produce the same result.

If not, you might wanna pack some stuffs and return to Mars real quick..

There is actually a connection between the expression on our face with how we feel inside. Usually we'd smile when we're happy, but guess what? It also works the other way around!

This is scientifically proven, and it is amazing. So, if you're not feeling so good, just smile. Smile when you wake up. Smile when you're taking a shower. Smile when you wanna go to sleep. To get even better results, chuckle a little bit while thinking how hard human beings are trying to make themselves feel better and happier. It works!

But well, here's a reminder. Just don't overdo it or people might notice and give you that oh-that-crazy-dude/gal-is-so-poor look..

In any event, just know it that a simple smile will surely help you make up your day! ;)

Stop Blaming the Distance

2008-01-08T17:24:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Jan 10, 2007.

With so many relationships failing since the previous 5 months, including mine and those of my best friends', I thought I'd like to give some insight about how I look at the whole situation.

They say it's the distance.

But I hardly think so.

Long distance relationship is not the cause. Trust me. I just read some self-help books and the best bet would actually be this - relationships fail because of us. Yes, it's us. Not the distance.

It is true the physical limit makes us hard to see our significant other as often as we could compared to when we're close. But do all physically-close relationships survive, and do all long distance relationships fail? Certainly not. I personally know a universitymate of mine who's having a relationship with his lovely girlfriend since they were in high school, and I'm guessing that would be around 7 years old now. Although they are now half-the-globe apart, it just doesn't matter. I know some others who are also making it through - treating it like an adventure.

Don't believe it? Well, you simply have to.

If we have no choice but to have a long distance relationship and we don't wanna lose it, then embrace it as part of our life. Accept the reality, and find ways that work best. Stop expecting too much, and be happy in whatever situation that you're in. Tolerate. Have some control over your raging emotions. Take note that this applies to both guys and girls.

It's time for us to grow up and take full responsibility for whatever that happens in our lives.

When bad things occur, chances are it's the others' fault, and not us. It's the distance, or it's the other person not understanding us. Blame everything and everyone but ourselves.

Acting like we're the victim simply won't help. No matter how much satisfaction we get out of blaming things around us, it'll never help us get better.

Start taking responsibility and learn lessons from mistakes so that we'll grow and become better individuals with more fulfillments. Making it others' fault gets us nowhere and our growth stays stagnant.

To skeptics out there, just go out and find good books such as Susan Jeffers' "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway". Read it and you'll get what I'm trying to say.

Forgive Yourself

2008-01-08T17:23:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Jan 6, 2007.

Once in a while, we make mistakes in life and they will bother us. They hold us back from making any progress when we keep thinking of them over and over again. We might just describe this as regret.

I guess we just have to FORGIVE OURSELVES for all of the mistakes that we've done. This is no time for suffering. We have to let go of what went wrong and focus on the present. Focus on what we control. Let go of the past.

Now, the only hope that we have is to improve our present moments so that we will have better present moments for our future. It's time to go out there and make something big happen for ourselves..

All the best. May God bless us..

Beauty is a Curse

2008-01-08T17:22:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Jan 4, 2007.

This goes to all beautiful girls out there.

Well, here's another perspective of seeing gorgeous ladies.

It's a curse. Not a gift. And you pretty-faces know it.

Why exactly?

It's true you get stared at most of the time and you often get attention, but do you agree with me that it can also be a shortcoming every once in a while? It's when you're just kept from living the real and normal life. Fewer people can relate to you in proportion of how 'beautiful' you are especially when the public sees and make you as 'the unapproachable hot stuff'.

Less people (even girls) will talk to you since they just think that they're so out of your league. Guys who talk to you will do thousands of ass-kissing techniques and you'll get annoyed or feel uncomfortable when they do it. You'd feel like saying "Oh come on, please stop treating me like a queen. I'm a normal human being too!"

Let's face it. You're being kept further away from the real world and it sucks, big time. Now, how bad is that? LOL

I'm not a girl, so I don't really know. But I do think this is true at least in some ways. Comments anyone?

Happy New Year!

2008-01-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 31, 2006.

It's 2007.

Already?

Whatever it is, I'm just writing this to wish all of you a Happy New Year.

I just think time passes by so fast. Reminiscing back to the previous years, 1998 or 2000 feels like just a few years ago, especially when looking at the numbers, but it's actually been quite a while.

I must say that I really miss my childhood days, where we were so free from 'life problems' and everything seems to be SO IDEAL. We were so naive where we see everyone as only either 'very nice people' or 'very bad people'. No 'in-betweens'. LOL it sure was our fun time. I miss the 90's.

But now? More of our friends (including us) are literally getting married. No more main kahwin-kahwin, eh.

Well, each of us must have had their greatest and sweetest moments in life on certain years. I might guess my good years were in 1993 and 1998. There were a couple of special events in those years which I'll remember forever, but I guess it's better for me to keep them to myself. Now, what's your greatest year, then?

I pray that may this will be another good year for us. To those who's having new year resolutions, hopefully you'd be able to stick to them thruout the whole 12 months. No flake-outs! and Good luck!

Where's Your Mind Now?

2008-01-08T17:20:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 29, 2006.

When we're awake, our great minds can be in one of three different states. Past, Present, or Future. Among the three, only one is useful, which is the Present.

Being Present-minded means having concentration and consciousness towards something that we're working on. It's like when you sembahyang, people tell you to be khusyuk, and that's a good example of having your mind with you, right there and then.

Notice where would your mind go when it's not in the present.

Yes, only either in the Past or in the Future.

If we're thinking about something that has happened, like "Damn, I shouldn't have said that to my friends. What am I gonna do now?" That's when your mind is in the past. Regret is type of feeling that you'll get when your mind concentrates on history or the past.

On the other hand, if you're daydreaming or worried about what's gonna happen, like "Well, if I have an unlimited amount of money, I'd like to get this car, and this house, and these clothes. How wonderful..." or "Oh my God, that's the cute girl I saw in the coffee shop last time. If I walk up to her and say Hi now, what is she gonna think? What if she rejects me?" Now, this is when your mind is in the Future. Feelings that you might get when these things occur are Jealousy, or Anxiousness. Jealousy is simply an act of thinking in advance of what's gonna happen next, believing it and becoming attached to it until it affects our feelings.

Future or Past, both are big NO-NO's. Don't do it.

So, be Present-Minded all the time. Focus. Examine your feelings and decide what to do, on the spot if that's possible. Apply all of the techniques showed in the Anxiety and Anger posts. This will also help you to suffer less (Refer to the post on Suffering). Don't let your mind drift away.

When your mind is not present, nothing can happen no matter how long you concentrate on it. Remember, you DO NOT CONTROL the past or the future. The only thing that you have is NOW, the PRESENT. So, act on what you have NOW. React.

When to apply? In the class, and while tengah sembahyang, etc. etc.

Again, please do not confuse these with 'Future planning' or 'Learning from mistakes in the past', as these two are different and they're actually very healthy.

Do You Seek Approval?

2008-01-08T17:19:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 28, 2006.

I recently heard this idea of 'Seeking Approval'.

Okay, I'll try to describe what it is. Seeking approval is an act of trying to get others agreeing with something that we do or think. This is because we feel insecure that others might disagree with something that we feel is right, so we seek their approval to make ourselves feel better when they do agree. But if they disagree with us, then it might affect our stand on that particular subject.

Now, ask yourself. Do you seek approval?

Most probably, the answer would be Yes. This happens a lot all around us but we didn't notice it before. We didn't even know that we're one of the people who does it. Have you ever done one of these:?

Buy new clothes or electronics and wanteed to show it to others how cool that thing is.
Got a compliment from someone and tell others about the exact conversation in detail.
Kissing up on the first date to make the other person 'approve' that we're nice instead of jerks.
Made an achievement or did something good and wanted to share it with virtually everyone.

There's a lot more examples out there, by the way.

I have to admit that I also do some of these things sometimes. But since I already know about it, I've started to try and get rid of it (Now that's an approval seeking line - I wanted to tell people that I've started my effort, or else, I don't feel confident about their perception towards me - Why should I even tell?). It is childish in a lot of ways. When we were small, we'd always wanna show people that new toy we got from the store and we'd be jumping around happily when they say nice things like "oh, that's a very cool toy, !!" You know, you look very cute doing that when you were little, but now......

However, doing this is normal. There is always that 'little kid' part left in us especially when we're in the process of growing up to be mature adults. But it is good to just know about it and try not to do it anymore, or at least to start doing it less. When you catch yourself in action of seeking approval, stop immediately and just beat your head against the wall 10 times.

Approval-seeking happens because we lack confidence in ourselves that what just happened is good enough. So, we look for and need to get input from others to even convince ourselves that it is true. We lack faith in ourselves and we don't acknowledge our capability as the biggest source of confidence in whatever that we do.

Well, until then, hopefully all of us can learn to notice this behavior and start getting rid of it slowly. Take care, friends. Bye.

What is it all about, anyway?

2008-01-08T17:14:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 26, 2006.

I've been thinking - What do we want out of life?

We know it should be the success in the hereafter to aim for. Investments should be made for the eternal life, but what the hell are we doing mingling around everything else right now? How intense are we seriously thinking about the life after death?

The pursuit of Wealth. Fame. Power. Pride. Women. Happiness, and...

Knowledge. For whom are we doing all these, anyways?

Even the Muslims are slowly absorbed, to some extent, into being more of what we call 'worldly' - not that I didn't admit that I might just be one of these people, too.

Financially successful or not, how do we size in terms of getting ready for death? This is something that bothers me oftentimes.

Being a Muslim, we pride ourselves of born already 'knowing' what's the meaning of life because of our religion's nature. But, do we really know what life means? And do we only preach but not practice? (Do we even preach that much?)

Or are we JUST ASSUMING that we know but our unconscious mind has figured out that it's just another bullshit, yet we keep suppressing that thought to NOT rule how we think of ourselves.

How much change do we need? And when will that happen? Will it ever happen?

We've heard this "Life Questions" a lot from westeners. But don't we need it too? Aren't we (some of us) slowly becoming just like them, too? Have we actually been practicing Hedonism (to a certain extent) but not realizing it (or not ADMITTING it) all this while? (Try Googling "Hedonism" if you don't know what it means. You'll find some good stuffs on Wikipedia, too)

I guess we should be preaching the non-Muslims and help them because we know the answer lies within our religion. But are we doing a good job? Hate to admit it, but it doesn't look like it.

Maybe the problem lies within the Muslim world itself. I think we're kinda messed up. We need to fix ourselves first, and then help our Muslim Brothers (and Sisters), then only we can spread out the word of truth (it doesn't really matter how you define truth) once we have enough strength. We tried to learn how to preach to others but have we prepared enough to start giving out? But before that, do we even have the concerns to do a preparation?

I think we might just need some help here, now.

Well, I was just throwing out some questions here. These are really serious questions everyone can argue back and forth forever. I don't necessarily need an anwer or anything, but feel free to spell out your thoughts if you have some. Just wanted to share this and make all of us think to remind ourselves. And that's including me, of course.

So, like how the topic goes - What is it all about, anyway?

Take care, my friends. I'll talk to you again soon.

The Decision-Making Spectrum

2008-01-08T17:13:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 25, 2006.

I have always asked myself, "What makes a decision wise?"

People will go, "Oh, you just know it when you make one".

Well, its true. But here's something that's a little bit technical on how we've been making up our minds every single time we make a decision.

First, here's the spectrum that's been introduced to me:

Now, let's examine it carefully. There are actually two main parts of how we balance a decision. First part on the far left is Conscience, or the Ethics.

Ethics, as we all know, is the do's and don'ts of life. This is right, and that is wrong. It has a 'motherly' characteristics in it. It's always been our mom who told us what to do and what not to do. The Conscience will also tell you if your motive is constructive or destructive. If you're too dependent on this, Dr Paul calls it as "Being top heavy on superego".

Intuition, on the other hand, is described as the 'fatherly' set of mind-directions. Our dads teach us how to live, and how to survive in the real world. He would tell us if a situation or environment will be constructive or destructive for us once we make a certain decision.

Lacking any of the two will cause trouble, of course. If everyone is "top heavy on superego" (by caring too much about what's right and what's wrong), we might live in a world without any oil platforms right now. This is because drilling for oil costs us the environment, and damaging the environment is BAD.

Similarly, if we know really well how to get around life situations, but we're lacking conscience to remind us of life's do's and don'ts, we might behave just like Enron - a once-big-and-strong American company with a popular symbol of willful corporate fraud and corruption. They took money from people because they know that the situation was financially-constructive. Unfortunately, they we're lacking ethics. The company announced bankruptcy in late 2001.

So, all of us have to balance the two in order to make wise decisions, everytime we need to make one. If we truly take into account both ends of the spectrum, we will get to Wisdom - the middle point.

And what will you get out of making wise decisions thru wisdom?

Freedom. It is the 'currency' that people will trade for you.

The public, or the people around you will grant you freedom if you make good decision for them. Society loves individuals who is full of wisdom. A great example might be our very Prophet, Muhammad (peace be upon him). This is why world leaders are usually chosen among those with wisdom (Well, except for Bush - he has his own special case).

Until then, I wish luck for all of us. This is the last part of the psychology theories. This is all that I have to share with you. Hopefully we'd be able to use all of it for the betterment of the religion, society, and for our beloved country, Malaysia. (kind of a direct translation from 'agama, bangsa dan negara', LOL)

I'll talk to you soon.

The Intellect / Ideas Spectrum

2008-01-08T17:11:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 23, 2006.

Having discussed both Anger and Anxiety in the previous two topics, we have actually mastered everything for the Emotional Energy spectrum. Negative and Positive. Recall that for Anger, being Assertive gives you Well Being. And for Anxiety, the reward for being courageous is Confidence. If we can change all of our anger and anxiety into positive energies, (insyaAllah - on God's will), we will be granted Happiness - the center point of the positive emotional energy spectrum. By the way, every negative feeling that you have, you name it, it'll always have a combination of both. For example, ANNOYED has more anger while SCARED has more anxiety in it. So, being able to handle both will give you the skill to master almost every negative feeling. Isn't that nifty?

Now, let's move on to the next topic - Intellect / Ideas Spectrum

Our intellect resides inside our personal boundary. Remember, it is one of the three psychologies (Emotional Energy, Intellect/Ideas, Decision-Making). We have left brain on the left side of the spectrum and right brain on the right side of the spectrum. Combining the power to use both gives you Genius.

I also thought that this is profound - Your brain is much better than you think.

Therefore, let's not waste it. We should learn to apply the Da Vincian thinking style. Learn all that you can until you're on your deathbed. In fact, Islam itself encourages learning regardless of our age. Therefore, we should try to balance how we use our brain by learning all of the intelligences that we have (Logical, Musical, Kinesthetic, Mechanical, Verbal, Social, Interpersonal).

Now, let's get to know our left brain. It is for the book-smarts. If you're someone with good Education, then you use most of your left brain for that purpose. It's most familiar with the History, or anything that's organized. Imagine that it works like a Hard Disk in your computer. The left brain is also good at calculating probabilities. It keeps an eye on your goals, so that you won't lose track of your original destination. If you are going to fly from Kuala Lumpur to Los Angeles, the extreme left brain will suggest that you go straight towards L.A by flying over the Pacific Ocean all the way from the beginning without compromising the idea of using a route that's a bit north (towards Japan). Well, if you're lucky enough, you'll reach that final destination, but in a very risky way.

So, how about our right brain?

This is what lefties claim as their speciality. It's also used the most by street-smarts. The right brain is related to Experiences. It likes Disorganization, and it'll always try to think about the future. Just imagine the right brain like the Internet. It connects thousands of millions of scattered servers across the world. Instead of calculating probabilities, this one is good at finding Possibilities. In the flight from K.L to L.A, the right brain gives flexibility to use a further-north route which is safer, and will also accept refueling in Taiwan or Japan. But you don't wanna leave everything to the right brain, because you might end up in Italy (by going west instead of east). It provides Flexibility but it doesn't really have the final destination in view.

My tips would be this (not that I have done exactly all of this):

Explore your brain, non-stop. Learn and become a master in all of the seven human intelligences. Know what it means to practice the Da Vincian thinking. Use both parts of your brain, and you will be a Genius! You'll get good in idea-management, while being able to use time efficiently in learning. Good luck to you! (and me).

Reference:
Dr Paul's "Mind OS"
Michael J. Gelb's "How to Think like Leonardo da Vinci"

Anxiety (Negative Emotional Energy)

2008-01-08T17:10:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 22, 2006.

Are you one of those people who suffer from Stage-freightophobia? Or even worse, experiencing Wussy-nitis when you see that attractive woman you always wanted to talk to across the room? All of these problems boil down to the same principal - Anxiousness. Get this one down and you'll generate confidence inside you.

So, here's what we're gonna do:
- Step ONE, Know what causes Anxiety
- Step TWO, Learn what to do when you become anxious and PRACTICE it

The figure below shows how everything is related - study it carefully:

So, ask ourselves: What are the things that contribute to the feeling of anxiousness?

There are two of them:

1) Low on Confidence
2) Loss

Low on confidence is as clear as it is spelled out. You lack confidence. You have so much insecurities haunting you. You're too attached to the outcome, or you've been holding on to that of embarassing-moments in the past. You sell yourself short.

Loss, on the other hand, is a kind of stress or threat that something will be taken away from you. This consists of everything including your time, love, property, life of the one that you love, friends, belongings, or dignity. When you feel that you might be losing one of these, notice how you would feel anxious.

These things happen all the time, so how do we face ourselves when we become anxious?

Yes, talk to yourself. Observe yourself and stop from making stupid decisions.

If you don't, you'll end up either making no decision, or that stupid decision. If you make no decision, you'll either act impulsive without knowing why, for example, overspending or overeating. If you're not this type of person, it'll just be another opportunity being passed (You might think you're passing the chance but you're actually missing it)

What's the best thing to do? Correct, make a DECISION.

But make sure it's a good one.

A bad decision will be when you practice massacism. It's the "poor me" attitude. "Oh I'm the victim of the situation. Don't you feel sorry for me?". It's being childish, and to add fuel to the fire, it only worsens the situation. If people act like they don't give a damn, you'll cry even louder and experience more of what we discussed as a LOSS. But if people do care, you feel good but you're not getting anything more out of it. Your maturing process is stagnant.

Therefore, you definitely wanna start practicing this one.

Do courage - every single time anxiety comes. Talk to yourself. See yourself from a third-person view. Like how you see yourself in the main character of that favorite movie of yours. This might help: Ask yourself - WHICH ONE IS MORE IMPORTANT? MY ANXIOUSNESS OR THE RESULT THAT I MIGHT GET IF I DID COURAGE? If you're not retarded, you'll know you have to choose the latter. In fact, the act of courage itself is an act of maturity.

But of course, in the process of learning, we'll choose the former during the first few times. This is absolutely normal. Just keep practicing. As long as you know you're working on this, don't worry. You're on the right track. Always remember to stop for a while and start talking to yourself every single time you're surrounded by anxiousness.

By the way, notice that I used the word "MIGHT GET" instead of "WILL GET". Why? Of course it's because we don't know what might happen as the outcome, but no matter if we succeeded in the courage, or even failed, there's one thing that we can be sure of. That one thing is discussed in depth in the next paragraph.

The most important thing is, when you act courageous, you WILL get CONFIDENCE. The bigger the anxiety you're facing, the more confidence you'll earn after doing courage. When your confidence tank eventually becomes full after doing a gazillion of couragous acts, that's the moment when being courageous is just part of you. It blends in so well with your personality, you won't feel like jumping off the cliff anymore when doing it.

Again, the consistency reminder. This is not an easy thing, but we can all do it. It doesn't matter if you're four feet tall or have one eye. I've seen myself a three-feet-tall eternally-disabled man on a wheelchair radiating so much power from his confidence. Nothing is impossible. Invest your effort and energy and time and the power of your mind to achieve confidence. It's priceless, in every sense of the word.

p/s: It's not courage if you're FORCED to do something and in the end, you say "Phew, finally I don't have to think about it anymore". It's not courage when you're just going with the flow because you didn't really make any decision. I hope this one is pretty clear for everyone.

Anger (Negative Emotional Energy)

2008-01-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 20, 2006.

People get angry every single day. Well, not everyone, but being angry is so common we just forgot to learn how to actually deal with it efficiently. If we're not mature enough to take care of our own anger, that means we have a lot of maturing to do. Here's how. Know what causes anger, and how to deal with it by knowing what are the possible options available for us each time we get into the angry zone.

Causes of Anger - Hurts and Losses

Anger is theoretically caused by two reasons:

1) Hurt
2) Loss

Hurt happens when we got hurt emotionally by the surrounding. When other people is acting cruel towards us, or when they treat us bad enough, it causes hurt. I'm not really sure about physical injury if it'll also trigger hurt (but of course we will scream out loud "ouch, it hurts!") which will then lead to anger, but that's something for us to think of.

Loss, in the meantime, is when you lack what you need, or when your well being isn't taken care of properly. When you just can't get the things that you want, when you didn't see the outcome that you're looking for, or the response that you're anticipating from someone else, when you're short of money and can't buy anything from the grocery stores, or even when you can't achieve what you wanted. It's not surprising to know that we could also get angry towards ourselves when we can't make certain complex decisions especially when we're lacking time.

Solutions for Anger

We have three solutions, with only one being the recommended one:

1) No decision / Keeping quiet / Acting cool
2) Make a decision, in a destructive way
3) Make a decision, contstructively

First solution, not good. Why? Acting like you're cool while you're not, needs a lot of effort and drains so much energy it hurts you so bad your anger now turns into what we call depression. Now, imagine. Depression is like a pot of anger. As your anger accumulates everytime you get angry and not do a thing about it, you become depressed more and more. Finally, this pot will explode and that's the last thing you want to see.

So, if you don't keep quiet, what do you do? Yes, make a DECISION. But what kind of decision? There are two types of decision. Constructive (Win-Lose) or Destructive (Win-Win):

Destructive decisions for anger means that you practice aggression. This is BAD. When you become aggressive, it is for sure a Win-Lose deal. People hate win-lose deals, especially when there is always option of a win-win deal. Agression necessitates that someone loses. Notice how you won't feel like winning until the other person loses or surrenders. This is not being respectful, and childish. You're just acting like a little boy, or a little girl. When we were young, we become angry at our parents when we don't get the toy car that we asked for, so we become so aggressive insisting that we want it until our parents had to eventually 'lose' and buy it for us - then only we feel like winning the deal. Come on guys, it looks SO CUTE when we were small, but now, we're like, in the 20's. It's horrible and not cute AT ALL. Nobody respects you for being aggressive and all emotional whenever you get angry. Just stop it, will you? It's immature - in every sense of the word. (I'm also reminding myself here)

Instead, what should we do? Yes, a constructive decision. A win-win deal. But how?

Here's how..

Be assertive. If you're angry, tell the other person assertively. Communicate strictly of how you don't like the things that are happening, but keep your level of respect towards the other person. This means talking like a gentleman. Guess what? The other person will listen to you and then give you so much respect in return. And what do we get out of being assertive? Like how it's mentioned above, a win-win situation - the other person learns their mistake without being patronized and at the same time, we're respected by doing that while they have now stopped doing it.

By doing this, we actually are filling our well-being tanks with more and more "motherly energy". We nurture our own self and when our well-being tank is almost full, almost nothing can get us angry. Take note that a huge "motherly energy" can come from God. It is just a feeling of having all of your needs met and you don't need anything else in this world. That's why people with 'iman' find their life fulfilled and happy.

However, here's an exception regarding aggression. It IS accepted in the name of justice, so we have to realize that it exists just in case we need to use it. But it is only used when we have been assertive but they just won't listen. Another thing to keep in mind; aggression should not last forever. It's only used to tell the other person that we're not kidding about our stand.

So, before we end, here's a reminder. Being able to control our anger is something that we have to practice. It's not easy, and it takes a lot of time. I am myself working hard on it now. It's a maturing process, and it's one of the first vital things that we have to learn from the real world if we wanna be responsible for ourselves. And this is just a theoretical explanation which will become your crutch / tool in your learning process.

Next up is a topic on Anxiety.

Reference: Dr Paul's "Mind OS"

The Psychology Inside Our Personal Boundaries

2008-01-08T17:03:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 18, 2006.

So far, we have covered the topic of Personal Boundary in terms of how it protects us and how it defines the controllable or the uncontrollables. It makes up our identity and having a solid personal boundary helps us take care of what's inside it so that outsiders won't be able to control or affect us.

Basically, There are three major parts of psychology inside a particular personal boundary:

1) Emotional Energy (Positive and Negative)
2) Intellectual, or Ideas
3) Decision-Making

Unlike personal boundaries, these three are contained inside of the former. Besides, they 'exist' in spectrums - a continuous sequence or range of attributes. I will start off with the basics of all three in this blog.

Emotional Energy Spectrum

Emotional Energy has two parts, positive and negative - both 'exist' in spectrums. Refer to the diagram for a clearer view of the two spectrums.

Negative Emotional Energy

On the far left, we have anxiety, and on the other side is anger. Just notice how neutral we will feel everytime we get anxious but angry at the same time. Anger cancels out anxiety. Neutrality also means that you feel neither anxious nor angry. Above all, our work is actually to practice turning this spectrum into a positive one.

Positive Emotional Energy

Well being is how we take care of ourselves or how we're taken care of. It it more of what Dr Paul refers to as the "motherly energy", while confidence or self esteem is something we gain from experience, courage, decision-making, and it is more "fatherly". Being able to have balance in both of these will bring happiness - the peace of mind everyone is seeking for.

Intellectual or Ideas Spectrum

The Intellectual spectrum holds 'Education' on one end and 'Experience' on the other. Education has a lot to do with your left brain while Experience is more related to your right brain. A genius like Leonardo da Vinci is a good example of an individual who efficiently used both parts of his brain.

Decision-Making Spectrum

The Decision-making spectrum consists of 'Conscience' at one end (left) and balanced by 'Intuition' on the opposite side. Conscience is basically the ethics and the do's and dont's of life, while intuition is having the ability to know whether an environment will make a good opportunity for something, regardless of good or bad. Enron is a very intuitive company since they knew how to run away with investors' money. If we have a perfect combination of both, we will make decisions solely based on wisdom - exactly the place where leaders should be.

If we can master the two ends of a spectrum, that means we have learned the whole spectrum, and that's exactly what we're gonna do. We will discuss more about all three spectrums, in-depth, in my upcoming blogs.

Personal Boundary

2008-01-08T16:58:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 17, 2006.

All of us own one. A personal boundary protects someone from outside interventions. Just imagine a sphere surrounding our body. It's invisible but it's there, and just like emotional energy, we have to take good care of this one, too.

So, what is the real function of what we call personal boundaries?

In our everyday lives, problems that occur, whether personal, social, international, or intercultural, there is always a connection to how perfect our personal boundary is. Basically, it gives us an indication to differentiate the things that we DO CONTROL from the ones that we DON'T.

This goes back to the topic of "Suffering". If you have a good boundary, you can easily distinguish whether something is within your control or not, and then deal with the problem with the information that you have. Having this taken care of, you will most likely suffer less frequently as you build a better boundary from time to time.

A personal boundary also works like a border of a country. It controls what goes out and what comes in. If there are a gazillion holes for a particular country, that means bad stuffs like drugs or stolen cars will easily pass from outside through the border without proper checking by the customs department and affect the economy at the end of the day. It also makes resources from inside being smuggled out of the country without control. This is really dangerous since outsiders have good access to our resources and since resources are scarce, this country's economy will be in a bad shape in the end.

Establishing a good boundary means that other's behaviors have no way of affecting us. And I thought it is profound to know the fact that we have no reason to be affected by how others feel if we have a good boundary. We often talk about the idea of positive or negative energy that others carry around, and how bad it is when the negative ones affect our mood. It literally will ruin our day. Good boundaries doesn't have that much holes but instead, it uses doors where we control these doors from the inside and decide what goes out and what comes in. We budget our resources efficiently with these doors. Positive energy from others comes in, while negative 'auras' bounces off the boundary.

Guess what? It means if someone is having a bad day and we're affected by it, then that's our fault and then it becomes our problem to deal with it. Yes, it's your fault. It shows that we have holes since we can't stop their bad energy from coming in. If we replace these holes by developing the so-called 'doors', we can at any time shut these doors and say "NO, you're not coming in, bad energy. Not a chance." and continue with our happy day without interruption. Sounds too ideal? For now, maybe yes, but if we work hard enough, all of us actually have the skill to potentially have 95% doors and 5% holes on our boundaries (keep in mind that a perfect boundary doesn't exist).

Holes also cause a boundary to have a vague shape. Until we learn to cover most of our holes, then only our boundaries will have a better shape which looks like a decent sphere. Having a good boundary also means that you have a solid identity. Preferences gives you identity. When describing a problem, if you find yourself using vague words like "overwhelmed", that probably means you have a lot of work to do. In fact, being able to hear and say NO is also one of the characteristics of high character with solid personal boundary function. Practice saying NO when you need it, but keep in mind to do it assertively, and in the right way. Accept NO's from others and it'll make you stronger.

So, what's the conclusion?

The first step in solving any human problem is to develop healthy, mature, high character boundaries. Practice distinguishing what you control over what you don't, don't be affected by other's bad energy, have preferences, be sure of how you feel, and practice hearing and saying NO. Now, this takes a lot time, it might even take years to some, but it's worth it and it gives a much higher proportion of quality to our lives. Invest your time and energy into this and I'm sure you won't regret it. It's just a small piece of a big puzzle defining maturity and manhood (or womenhood - i don't even know if that word exists).

Good luck to all of us,
Izzat Nizam

Reference:
Dr Paul's "Mind OS"

Suffering

2008-01-08T16:30:00.000-07:00

*From my old Friendster Blog site written on Dec 16, 2006.

From this blog onwards, I might be writing a lot about the human psychology (hopefully I have the time). Thanks to Dr Paul, a psychologist in Denver, I learned tonnes of great new and profound thoughts excellently explaining how our psychology works. I'm gonna start with 'Suffering'.

Ask ourselves; What is suffering?

According to Dr Paul, suffering is "burning emotional energy on the uncontrollables". Without knowing it, we human beings have a resource which is even more valuable than time itself - and that is our emotional energy. It is stored inside our minds, and we could actually efficiently control how we budget the usage of this scarce resource, given that we know how.

Now, what are the uncontrollables? These are actually the things that we do not control. We have zero percent of control over these things. The weather, history, the past, the future, the economy, how others behave or what other people think of us all are included in the so-called 'uncontrollables'. It is beyond reach and any effort to even try to control these will have you ending up with the short end of the stick. But the great thing is, we actually have 100% power on what's within our control..

Assuming that both notions of 'emotional energy' and 'the uncontrollables' are well understood, i suppose at this point we shouldn't have much trouble grasping the idea of "burning emotional energy on the uncontrollables". Thus, suffering is simply the action of using your emotional energy and spending it over the things that you have no power on.

Dr Paul also suggested that everytime we use the word 'should', then we most likely are doing the act of suffering. Lines like "that clerk shouldn't have done that to me" or "it's too hot, it should be colder outside" are examples of suffering.

I think this might be easier if there are examples. So, here are some useful ones. Notice how we will start being whiny and complaining about how unpleasant the weather is, or how disrespectful this friend of ours was. The same goes when we're on the road cursing the wreckless drivers or motorcyclists who just have no idea of how dangerous they're being or how they lack the on-road manners they're showing. Another example might be how we overly-regret of how we were wasting time and not studying before (at the moment we're already holding that C-grade paper). So, yeah, regret and jealousy are also part of suffering. But notice, everytime we do this, did it change anything?

You're right, NO...

So, what should we do now?

It's easy. Practice catching ourselves doing this and slap ourselves whenever we do it. Yeah, slap yourself. Start differentiating the things that we control and let go of the ones that we do not. Worrying too much about what's gonna happen is just a waste of time and emotional energy. Act on whatever that you control. Use every single thing that we actually do have control on. Studying and putting your best effort before that final exam is what you control, and how the results will turn out is something that we just have to let go. Just realize that the things which you don't control will never change no matter how long you put your thoughts on it or how long you cry over it. Stop wasting your emotional energy. You'll even find yourself wasting time after you've become all stressed out. Don't be stressful because of the things that you don't control. Being stressful just drains out your emotional energy. Just move on to the next thing. Repair your conditions. Focus on NOW. Live on the present day, and forget about the past or stop worrying about the future.

Plan on your future and learn lessons from the past, though. But never ever hold yourself on to it.

In a nutshell, this is just one of the things we should learn to apply in our daily lives in order for all of us to grow up. Good luck guys.

Cheers,
Izzat Nizam